SW

Feeling Crazy? Learn Tools for "Inner Fitness"!

Nov 4, 2013

TL
Stage· 115 messages
Nov 4, 2013

Tina Lifford was the first black female series lead (since Diahann Carroll) in the critically acclaimed "South Central" on FOX. She currently stars in NBC's "Parenthood" as Renee Trussell (love that show!). What you may not know is that she is also passionate about helping people create a great life by working on our "Inner Fitness". So if you've been feeling crazy, this is the perfect Tawk for you! www.theinnerfitnessproject.com

SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:00 AM

Here we go!!!!! Welcome to your first Tawk, Tina!!!
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:00 AM

Yayl. I'm so excited. and nervous. Can I type fast enough.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:00 AM

No one types faster than this overachieving Asian. I love that we're both wearing red in our profile pics!
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:01 AM

Types, talks or texts from my experience.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:01 AM

Bwahahaha! So let's start by telling everyone how we first met.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:01 AM

I was introduced to you by Carlyle for my play THE CIRCLE. For me it was love at first read!
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:01 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“That's the trifecta of communication!”

SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:02 AM

The Circle is a play that you created and starred in, about a support group of women, based on actual interviews. We've done many performances of it, and it's one of my favorite roles that I've ever done.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:03 AM

I wrote it because I had been in a real CIRCLE with seven friends for years. It changed all of our lives. I kept thinking how can I share this experience with others.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:03 AM

In fact, we just did a performance of it in NYC!!!
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:03 AM

It has a profound positive effect on the audiences who come to see it.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“saw it -amazing”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:04 AM

THE NYC show was one of the best.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“didn't know Suzanne was such an amazing dramatic actress”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:04 AM

@Jordan...Hi....Nice to see you here.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:04 AM

@Jordan, the check is in the mail.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:04 AM

@Jordan what did you like about THE CIRCLE best.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“the idea that expressing pain lightens it”

SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:05 AM

Mmmmmm.....
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:05 AM

@Jordan. Hmmmm. Good stuff, right.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:05 AM

So Jordan, have you released any pain since seeing The Circle?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:06 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Trying to come up with a funny answer that doesn't have any innuendo...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:06 AM

Unfortunately in our society people don't talk about their inner challenges. Yet we all have them.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:07 AM

In this case, Jordan, your funny answer would be deflecting the actual answer... what if you just answered the question?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:08 AM

We let that stuff build and become shame and big hurt, but if our society just TAWKED more that pain would create affinity and community.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:09 AM

Tina, it seems to be your mission to make the world a better place, one human at a time. When did this start, and did something specific happen to spark this journey for you?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from Helene Paradis

“It's like trying to talk about Mental Health Issues, everyone coming from a place of fear & doesn't want to talk or hear about it... Sad.”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:10 AM

It started in the 2nd grade. It continues because I can't help myself. It makes no sense to me that we are hurting and not talking. YES! My mission is to have a popularize this conversation.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:10 AM

Have a popularize? Is English your second language? Bwahahahaha
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:11 AM

I know, I'm a bitch.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:11 AM

Ah. I LOVE YOU! In SPITE OF YOUR SELF
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:11 AM

Lucky me!
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:11 AM

Now, on the topic we have chosen for today. Are you crazy?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:11 AM

Absolutely.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:11 AM

Are we all crazy?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:12 AM

We all are crazy when we stop being and feeling like our true selves.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:12 AM

Do you think that as a human race, we are especially crazy right now? Are we going through some major transformation?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Nicole H

“Everyone is crazy in their own way...”

SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:13 AM

@Nicole, I particularly enjoy your way. :)
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:13 AM

Yes. We are lost and tryping to find ourselves without tools. All this crazy, desperate stuff is pushing us to find out who we really are.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:14 AM

How did you come up with the concept of "inner fitness", and can you give us one tool to help us feel less crazy?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:14 AM

Inner Fitness just makes sense when you think of it in the context of physical fitness.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:15 AM

As for a tool one of my favorites is simply adding the mindset of "Up until now, and from this point forward to our way seeing our challenges."
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:15 AM

Can you give me a concrete example of how "Up until now" can be a useful tool?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:16 AM

★ Spotlighted from Nicole H

“Likewise.”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:17 AM

Most of us have a challenge that has been with us so long there's a part of us that doesn't believe we can be free of that challenge. It's here that up until now and from this point forward is helpful.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:18 AM

It lets in possibility. The sense of possibility is key to changing.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:18 AM

So if I were to say, "I'm a clutterer, and I can never find anything in my house. I'm crazy." What would you say?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:18 AM

(hypothetically, of course)
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:18 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Like, I've made a lot of bad choices, up until now...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:19 AM

Up until now I have been this clutterer. Just saying this allows you to design a new relationship with this OLD behavior.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:19 AM

It allows you to start fresh.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:20 AM

Okay, so let's say now I believe that I can be less of a clutterer, that I can change that behavior. What's next?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:21 AM

The phrase is not magical, it's spacial. It creates space for NEW behavior and possibilities. As you begin to see the old, open to a new experience, the OLD can't control you like it use to. Right?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:22 AM

It's really not the clutter that's the problem. It's you not believing you are BIGGER than the issue. You ARE. You must start there.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:22 AM

Right. So if I were one of your private coaching clients, what might be the next step in my path towards an organized clutter-free house? I realize that there is a core issue that causes it, so just throwing things out doesn't solve it.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:23 AM

So I am bigger than this issue. Are we all bigger than all of our issues?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:23 AM

ABSOLUTELY!
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from Helene Paradis

“Make that behaviour, something you use to do...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:23 AM

@Helene Paradis exactly "up until now, and from this point forward."
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:24 AM

Do you have any sort of action plan, like in 12 step programs, towards inner fitness overall?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:24 AM

My balls are way bigger than my issues.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:24 AM

★ Spotlighted from Nicole H

“You are always bigger than your issues...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:25 AM

Yes. I have The 14 Practices of Inner Health and Wellbeing. They help us navigate our old thinking and take us back to our powerful selves.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:25 AM

What is the first one?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:26 AM

I turn my life over to a FORCE greater than me that LOVES me and responds to my heart.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:26 AM

That sounds very much like Step 1 of the 12 steps. Is it different in any way?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:27 AM

Of course. Connect to a higher force is the beginning of all powerful development practices.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:27 AM

Can we hear what Practice 2 is? Is it meditation?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:28 AM

I ASK for It's assistance in ALL THAT I DO. (All the practices are like a rabbit hole. They go much deeper than they appear. This one can save your life in so many times of challenge and uncertainty.)
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:29 AM

Did you make it 14 Practices instead of 12 so that you could feel superior over the Steps?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:29 AM

LOL.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:30 AM

Actually working with clients I found key points that over and over made a difference in our sessions. That's how I landed on the 14.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:30 AM

Do you call this "it" God? And can someone be an atheist and effectively work the 14 Practices?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:31 AM

I say a FORCE greater than you. Each person is on the own journey. You get to decide what that FORCE is. Whatever you choose to believe in should have the power to support you through otherwise what is the point. Right!
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:31 AM

In working with clients over the years, is there a common issue or wound that is at the core of most insanity?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:32 AM

Everyone struggles with some version of not feeling good enough. I also experience a lot of people living their lives from the mindset of "something's wrong."
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:33 AM

Panache Desai says that there is nothing wrong with us, and there is nothing to be fixed. What a revolutionary thought.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:34 AM

I want to talk about road rage. I know it gets joked about a lot, but I always think that it's because that person is livid about other things in their life, and he/she just uses the douchecanoe who cut them off as a scapegoat. Thoughts?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:34 AM

★ Spotlighted from Helene Paradis

“I think to save us from all the insanity, we must approach our Sanity through Body/Mind/Spirit...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:35 AM

@Helene Paradis to be whole we must care for the whole self. I agree with you. In our society though most our attention in on BODY. The inner challenge is not YET as popular a conversation...except in spiritual terms.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:37 AM

Re rage. I get it. Think it this way: Most have spent their lives doing what they are SUPPOSED to do to get ahead and WIN in life. But they find IT'S NOT ENOUGH. That can piss a person off. It to much stress.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:37 AM

Can you give us some safe and healthy ways to express and release rage? And therefore not be a prisoner to it?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Nicole H

“Road rage is some type of mental melt down for some in my opinion...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:38 AM

Understand that the outer rage is a reflection of an inner hurt, disappointment or unmet expectation. Start with connecting with this so you can get to the truth.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:38 AM

@Nicole, the worst thing for me is when I see someone driving badly, and it turns out to be an Asian! Nooooo! You're ruining it for all of us! I'm a GOOD DRIVER, damn it!
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:39 AM

LOL.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:39 AM

I believe that we hold emotions in our muscles. I've gotten massages before where I've either laughed or cried. Do you believe this to be true?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:40 AM

★ Spotlighted from Nicole H

“Lol @ Suzanne, our problem as drivers here is we are always in a rush, just leave the house 15 minutes earlier and enjoy the ride.”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:41 AM

Yes. We are emotional/mental/physical beings. It all is wrapped together. One affects the other. We must begin to see this and use all of us to take care of ourselves. Let each part of our life tell us something we need to hear.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:41 AM

So isn't relaxation and stretching just as important as making our muscles big and hard?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:41 AM

And of course we are spiritual.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:42 AM

@Nicole, I agree completely. Being in a rush exacerbates road rage exponentially.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:43 AM

The point is we all learn differently...AND WE HEAL DIFFERENTLY. The important piece is knowing that their are many ways for us to heal beyond medicine. Our bodies have information for us. Listen to the information and care enough about ourselves to
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:43 AM

act accordingly.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:43 AM

Ooh, I liked that answer. I'm going to marinate on that. As far as anger release goes, I sometimes primal scream into a pillow, or beat my mattress with a plastic bat, or write a letter to the cockmonkey I'm angry at, and then shred & burn it.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:45 AM

Asian women are culturally expected to suppress their rage, so I went from being silent to being wildly confrontational, both of which were unhealthy extremes. I wish more people talked about their healthy ways of expressing and releasing anger.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:45 AM

★ Spotlighted from Helene Paradis

“Personally I use Restorative Yoga & Meditation to help keep me centered... no road rage for me. lol”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:45 AM

Those are good techniques. We have the opportunity to begin to see such behavior as healthy strategies for taking care of ourselves. If we engage with the intention to release in a healthy self-honoring way then we are engaged in INNER FITNESS work.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:45 AM

So Tina, what makes you angry, and how do you personally deal with it?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:46 AM

★ Spotlighted from Nicole H

“Releasing anger for me is playing Halo.”

SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:47 AM

@Nicole, so you feel serene after you play Halo? Do you believe that Halo desensitizes you to violence? (that's another Tawk entirely)
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:47 AM

Honestly...and this is the truth...I don't experience anger nearly as much as I use to. HOWEVER my hot button: is someone telling me what I CAN or CAN'T do. The way I handle most stuff today is if I am FEELING charged I KNOW the experience is showing
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:48 AM

me something important I need to look at. I am more interested in my wholeness than in my anger so I look at what needs to be seen. Then I WORK WITH IT. How ever long it takes, whatever it means.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:49 AM

Sometimes that means sitting in the feelings and pulling them a part to see what I am really reacting to. Not always fun or easy but I WALK MY TALK and this is the only road to INNER FITNESS.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:49 AM

Wow, it's already 4:49! Time sped by like an Asian driver! How can people continue this conversation with you, and learn about all of the 14 Practices?
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:50 AM

Follow me on TWITTER @tinalifford. The 14 Practices will be available soon.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:50 AM

Also, before we wrap this up, I want to tell you how fucking GREAT you are on "Parenthood"! Can you tell us about your initial audition, and what it's been like to be on the show?
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Great Tawk! Thanks Suzanne and Tina! (somebody give this a thumbs up so they can see it, please)”

SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Helene Paradis

“Thank - You so much ! Lots to think about tonight...”

TL

Tina Lifford · 12:52 AM

PARENTHOOD rocks! The cast is GREAT. I am full of appreciation to be a part of the show. BTW I LOVE ACTING as much as I love INNER FITNESS.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:52 AM

I love the show. It's marvelous. Well acted, well written, well directed. Check it out, Tawkers... Thursdays at 10 pm on NBC.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:52 AM

SUZANNE I LOVE YOU TOO. Your heart is as big as the sky.
TL

Tina Lifford · 12:54 AM

@Jordan how cool is this. I've had fun hanging here with you all. @Cassandra Freeman it is so good to see you here, @Nicole and @Helene thank you all for sharing your voice. You're great.
SW

Suzanne Whang · 12:54 AM

You da bombdiggity, Tina Lifford! Mwah! Have a blisstacular night, everyone (Jordan, Helene, Nicole, and all of you voyeurs)