Melanie Berliet

Host

Getting a Grip on Female Pleasure

Jun 24, 2013·111 visitors

Kayt Sukel

Cohost

Stage· 260 messages

Jun 24, 2013

Kayt Sukel · 8:00 PM

Hello! Thanks so much for joining us!

Melanie Berliet · 8:00 PM

Yes! Thank you!

Melanie Berliet · 8:00 PM

Kayt and I thought it might be appropriate to start with the story of how we met.

Kayt Sukel · 8:00 PM

It's an interesting story. I haven't had orgasms with that many women.

Melanie Berliet · 8:00 PM

Likewise!

Melanie Berliet · 8:01 PM

Kayt, as it happens, is far superior to me at masturbating from within an MRI machine

Kayt Sukel · 8:01 PM

Well, far superior in wearing a constricting head mask and masturbating in an MRI anyway.

Kayt Sukel · 8:01 PM

But back in October 2010, Melanie and I traveled to the grand metropolis of Newark, New Jersey to donate some orgasms to science

Melanie Berliet · 8:02 PM

We were both successful at achieving orgasm in that confined space ultimately. I just had a panic attack to overcome.

Kayt Sukel · 8:02 PM

That experience led to her article in Cosmo and mine in the New Scientist: http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21028124.600-sex-on-the-brain-orgasms-unlock-altered-consciousness.html

Kayt Sukel · 8:02 PM

As well as a chapter in my book: http://www.amazon.com/This-Is-Your-Brain-Sex/dp/1451611560/

Melanie Berliet · 8:02 PM

The scientists behind the study are as fascinated as we are in female masturbation and all of its potential applications

Kayt Sukel · 8:03 PM

Definitely. Barry Komisaruk and Nan Wise are fabulous, fabulous scientists.

Kayt Sukel · 8:03 PM

They are interested in pain, pleasure, consciousness--and they think the secret to understanding all of it may lie in the orgasm.

Kayt Sukel · 8:03 PM

What was the most interesting part of the experience for you, Melanie? Y'know, outside of the head mask. =)

Melanie Berliet · 8:03 PM

I'd say trying to feel sexy in the least sexy, most sterile environment possible.

Melanie Berliet · 8:04 PM

Who did you think about while you were in there, out of curiosity?

Melanie Berliet · 8:04 PM

Justin Bieber?

Melanie Berliet · 8:04 PM

Don Draper?

Kayt Sukel · 8:04 PM

As much as I love me some Biebs, nope -- I believe I was thinking about my inappropriate boy crush, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Kayt Sukel · 8:04 PM

You?

Kayt Sukel · 8:05 PM

Was there some sushi involved in your MRI fantasies?

Melanie Berliet · 8:05 PM

ha! That's amazing. I think it was a mix of Rafael Nadal, and my real life boyfriend

Kayt Sukel · 8:05 PM

★ Spotlighted from Elle Saillant

“potential applications of orgasms? explain please!”

Kayt Sukel · 8:05 PM

Potential applications of orgasms. Great question!

Kayt Sukel · 8:06 PM

Komisaruk is very interested in the overlaps between pleasure and pain. The same brain areas seem to be responsible for both.

Kayt Sukel · 8:06 PM

Think about someone having an orgasm. Think about the sounds they make, the face they make -- out of context, it's hard to tell if they are experiencing pleasure or pain.

Melanie Berliet · 8:07 PM

Female orgasm is also just so much harder to pinpoint/study because it isn't as easily measurable as a mans. No erections, for instance, to note.

Kayt Sukel · 8:07 PM

What if, by studying the orgasm, we could figure out how cells determine whether something is painful or pleasurable? If we understood that neurochemistry, we may be able to find new drug targets instead of just relying on opiates.

Melanie Berliet · 8:07 PM

yes, and we might be able to make some kind of female viagra!

Kayt Sukel · 8:08 PM

That, too!

Kayt Sukel · 8:08 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“why is it that men seem to have no issues talking (openly and publicly) about masturbation but women traditionally do not?”

Kayt Sukel · 8:08 PM

Sasha, great question.

Kayt Sukel · 8:08 PM

I would note that while men do often talk about masturbation, it's usually in joke form.

Melanie Berliet · 8:08 PM

Hopefully that is changing, albeit slowly. Girls masturbate too, as Sarah Silverman was kind enough to remind us lately in her music video, Perfect Night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2KYHLLIRYk

Kayt Sukel · 8:09 PM

But I think it comes down to the fact that women aren't supposed to be sexual creatures. We're supposed to be receptive to sex, but not too receptive.

Melanie Berliet · 8:09 PM

right. female masturbation is still a bit taboo to some

Kayt Sukel · 8:10 PM

I hope that it is changing. I think that we could do wonders for teens especially if we could talk about masturbation as something that is healthy and natural.

Melanie Berliet · 8:10 PM

but it is integral to our humanity!

Kayt Sukel · 8:10 PM

Totally integral!

Melanie Berliet · 8:10 PM

I think it is changing. I mean, there's even an app in development focused on helping women masturbate better

Melanie Berliet · 8:10 PM

HappyPlayTime it's called. Kayt, would you use it?

Kayt Sukel · 8:10 PM

Some of the brain/orgasm work shows a ton of activation -- a whole brain experience. It's led some to hypothesize that all that blood flow evolved to help keep our brains healthy.

Melanie Berliet · 8:11 PM

I also think our anatomy is just trickier to figure out. and many women don't know how to do it.

Kayt Sukel · 8:11 PM

I'm not sure what to think of HappyPlayTime. I mean, I can come up with my own HappyPlayTime. But given that directed masturbation has been so successful in treating anorgasmia (or inability to have orgasms), it might be important for women...

Kayt Sukel · 8:11 PM

...who have trouble getting down and dirty with themselves.

Kayt Sukel · 8:12 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“it may be in joke form when men are around women but when we are with the boys its dead serious”

Melanie Berliet · 8:12 PM

right. and have trouble figuring out techniques.

Kayt Sukel · 8:12 PM

I'm interested in this comment, Sasha -- do you mind telling me how it's deadly serious?

Kayt Sukel · 8:12 PM

I feel like movies, books, and convos make male masturbation acceptable because it is a joke.

Kayt Sukel · 8:12 PM

A joke usually at women's expense since we aren't supposed to want sex as much as the dudes.

Melanie Berliet · 8:12 PM

Well, the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon definitely proves that women are more into erotica than we perhaps thought

Melanie Berliet · 8:13 PM

Right. But we do!

Kayt Sukel · 8:13 PM

It's not just 50 Shades of Grey! I was shocked at how much research has shown that women want sex as much, if not more, than the guys.

Kayt Sukel · 8:13 PM

That perhaps it's not men who aren't cut out for monogamy but women who truly have issues with the institution.

Melanie Berliet · 8:13 PM

yes. For sure. and yet, fewer women orgasm during sex regularly.

Kayt Sukel · 8:14 PM

But interesting little tidbits: women reported having more orgasms with new partners.

Kayt Sukel · 8:14 PM

Novelty seems to be important. Even though we're supposed to only want booty in monogamous relationships.

Kayt Sukel · 8:14 PM

★ Spotlighted from Dave Benson

“Do the potential medicinal benefits apply to men as well?”

Kayt Sukel · 8:15 PM

Dave, interesting question. More researchers are looking into male orgasm now.

Melanie Berliet · 8:15 PM

There's an interesting TED talk by Esther Perel on the "crisis of desire" in longterm relationships. One of the things Perel advocates is being in touch with your sexuality independently (i.e. masturbating)

Kayt Sukel · 8:15 PM

I think the answer is yes. Unfortunately, you have a chicken and egg thing here but many studies of successful aging show that regular sex is correlated with better health later in life.

Kayt Sukel · 8:15 PM

I think masturbation is key. Also communication. If you can't talk about it, how can you do it better?

Melanie Berliet · 8:16 PM

Kayt, what do you think about the impact of all the internet porn on masturbation habits?

Melanie Berliet · 8:16 PM

Is it possible to masturbate too much?

Kayt Sukel · 8:16 PM

Let me state upfront that I am not anti-porn.

Melanie Berliet · 8:16 PM

Nor am I.

Kayt Sukel · 8:16 PM

In truth, I like it.

Melanie Berliet · 8:16 PM

As do I.

Kayt Sukel · 8:16 PM

"Too much" is a loaded term in sexuality.

Kayt Sukel · 8:17 PM

We always seem to discuss "normal" sexuality without remembering that normal is a statistical curve.

Melanie Berliet · 8:17 PM

A very good point.

Kayt Sukel · 8:17 PM

Behaviors, frequencies, etc. vary quite a bit in that normal curve.

Melanie Berliet · 8:17 PM

What would you say to all the guys out there who swear by fapstinence (abstinence from masturbation)

Melanie Berliet · 8:18 PM

New York mag piece on the fapstinence trend: http://nym.ag/15ggbxB

Kayt Sukel · 8:18 PM

That said, I think there is some evidence that the sex-related areas of the brain can be primed for addiction. But addiction is something that is way out there.

Melanie Berliet · 8:18 PM

★ Spotlighted from Elle Saillant

“"women reported having more orgasms with new partners." That's interesting Kayt, because it is often said that women need the deeper emotional connection first, in order to be able to achieve orgasm.”

Kayt Sukel · 8:18 PM

You may be masturbating too much if you are breaking the skin, not leaving the house EVER, etc.

Kayt Sukel · 8:18 PM

Otherwise, I think there's a healthy variability out there.

Melanie Berliet · 8:18 PM

And if you cannot achieve orgasm without porn, perhaps.

Kayt Sukel · 8:19 PM

"Fapstinence." I think it's like people who say they won't have period sex. They are cutting out a healthy piece of sexual life.

Melanie Berliet · 8:19 PM

Yeah. And they may be struggling with guilt associations

Kayt Sukel · 8:20 PM

True -- and there are plenty in all parts of sexuality. Again, knowing your body, knowing how to communicate, that helps with the shame stuff.

Melanie Berliet · 8:20 PM

Do you think women are orgasming more or less these days?

Kayt Sukel · 8:20 PM

Oh, I think it depends!

Kayt Sukel · 8:20 PM

If only orgasms only involved the genitals -- it would be so much easier.

Kayt Sukel · 8:21 PM

But there are physiological, social, psychological, etc. components, too.

Kayt Sukel · 8:21 PM

It can be hard to come if you are worried about a partner cheating or if you are going to get fired at work.

Melanie Berliet · 8:21 PM

In general, do you think it's easier for a man to have an orgasm without feeling connected than it is for a woman?

Kayt Sukel · 8:21 PM

I have to tell you, no. I think it's harder for a woman to explain to her friends why she's okay with having an orgasm without feeling connected.

Kayt Sukel · 8:22 PM

But having the orgasm itself? No.

Melanie Berliet · 8:22 PM

I think that's a very good point.

Kayt Sukel · 8:22 PM

Women have been told for as long as I can remember that we aren't supposed to like sex. That if we're seen as easy, we'll have miserable lives.

Kayt Sukel · 8:23 PM

Syncing that up with desire can be a difficult thing.

Kayt Sukel · 8:23 PM

★ Spotlighted from brittany mangold

“How can these other components you listed be taken into account when studying orgasms?”

Melanie Berliet · 8:23 PM

Right. The slut versus player phenomenon. Basically, women just need to shelve their embarrassment. And touch themselves freely!

Kayt Sukel · 8:23 PM

Brittany, in several ways. There are ongoing studies looking at brain imaging -- but also chemicals, survey data, behavioral data, etc.

Kayt Sukel · 8:23 PM

And to really understand orgasm, you need to put all those pieces of the puzzle together.

Melanie Berliet · 8:24 PM

And find lots of people willing to masturbate from within MRI machines.

Kayt Sukel · 8:24 PM

Masters and Johnson commented way back in their day that orgasms could be thwarted by "spectatoring" -- or being outside the sexual experience, watching it, judging it, etc.

Kayt Sukel · 8:24 PM

That's something that could be tested in the scanner--but also in other ways, too.

Melanie Berliet · 8:24 PM

Kayt, where's the oddest place you've ever masturbated?

Melanie Berliet · 8:25 PM

Feel free to say MRI.

Kayt Sukel · 8:25 PM

You know you have to answer that question, too, right?!

Melanie Berliet · 8:25 PM

I will...

Melanie Berliet · 8:25 PM

(and it was not the MRI for me)

Kayt Sukel · 8:25 PM

The MRI was the oddest, probably. But I mean, I've done it in my car and in a classroom before.

Kayt Sukel · 8:25 PM

It's a good stress reliever for me -- trying to think if there are any other places.

Melanie Berliet · 8:26 PM

I did it in the bathroom at the investment bank I used to work at right after college. I was SO BORED with life as a bond trader.

Melanie Berliet · 8:26 PM

It was my only escape from financial tedium.

Melanie Berliet · 8:26 PM

So i did it sitting on the toilet

Kayt Sukel · 8:26 PM

My one friend told me she does it in the school pick-up line. She gets there 30 minutes early so she's one of the first ones and uses that time to "relax."

Melanie Berliet · 8:26 PM

That's very efficient of her

Kayt Sukel · 8:26 PM

★ Spotlighted from Elle Saillant

“I think it's a combination of your physiological capability to get there, and whomever is "giving you a hand" no?”

Melanie Berliet · 8:27 PM

It's definitely easier for women sitting down than standing, for anatomical reasons, I'd say.

Melanie Berliet · 8:27 PM

Not much masturbating in the shower for us, at least to my knowledge

Kayt Sukel · 8:27 PM

Partners play a role, sure -- but I think that, ultimately, you are your biggest orgasm champion.

Kayt Sukel · 8:27 PM

Less clean-up for women, too, really. I mean, we don't even have to take clothes off if we don't want to.

Melanie Berliet · 8:27 PM

Kayt, what do you think about manual versus vibrator?

Kayt Sukel · 8:28 PM

I think variety is the spice of life!

Melanie Berliet · 8:28 PM

I've read that some women become scared that they'll get dependent upon their toys

Kayt Sukel · 8:28 PM

Do women get scared they'll become dependent on their partners?

Kayt Sukel · 8:28 PM

As far as I know, there's no evidence to show that women can become addicted to their devices.

Melanie Berliet · 8:29 PM

★ Spotlighted from Rachael Workman

“In the school pick-up line?! If the other dads only knew what was going on a few cars in front of them.”

Kayt Sukel · 8:29 PM

I think variety is always a good thing -- in anything. So if people are worried about it, just make sure to switch it up a bit.

Kayt Sukel · 8:29 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“what does science say about women who can masturbate without physical contact....ie: wit their minds”

Melanie Berliet · 8:29 PM

Yeah. I think you're right that variety is key.

Kayt Sukel · 8:29 PM

There are some lucky women who can "think off."

Melanie Berliet · 8:29 PM

I've never tried that. Have you Kayt?

Kayt Sukel · 8:29 PM

Lots more women than I thought -- when THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON SEX came out, I found out that a lot of my friends can do it.

Melanie Berliet · 8:30 PM

Did you ask them for tips?

Kayt Sukel · 8:30 PM

I've tried but I seem to lack the ability. Granted, I haven't given it that much effort yet.

Melanie Berliet · 8:30 PM

Maybe the next time we hang out....

Melanie Berliet · 8:30 PM

Joint effort!

Kayt Sukel · 8:30 PM

I think it's quite possible we all have that ability to "think off," we just never learned how to master it.

Melanie Berliet · 8:30 PM

★ Spotlighted from Blake Ian

“Do you guys remember the first time you ever masturbated? Was it premeditated or did it just "happen"?”

Melanie Berliet · 8:30 PM

For me, the first time was definitely premeditated. I tried and failed more than a few times...

Kayt Sukel · 8:31 PM

Red wine and "thinking off"! Just as long as it isn't a contest!

Melanie Berliet · 8:31 PM

I remember incorporating a hairbrush handle unsuccessfully.

Kayt Sukel · 8:31 PM

The funny thing is -- and it's even funnier with the abortion-should-be-illegal-because-boy-babies-masturbate thing--is that small children often masturbate.

Melanie Berliet · 8:31 PM

That's right.

Kayt Sukel · 8:31 PM

You wouldn't call it that, necessarily -- but they'll rub up on things or use their penis as a handle.

Melanie Berliet · 8:32 PM

Do you think we forget how to do it between toddlerhood and our teenage years. Do we have to relearn how to masturbate, then?

Kayt Sukel · 8:32 PM

Once you become a parent you realize just how often kids are grabbing their genitals just because it feels good.

Kayt Sukel · 8:32 PM

I think many of us are shamed out of it. We do have to re-learn. And to learn where/when it is appropriate.

Kayt Sukel · 8:32 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“should masturbation be taught in school sex ed classes?”

Kayt Sukel · 8:33 PM

Sasha, do I think an instructor should get up in front and show them techniques? No. But talking about it openly is a good thing.

Melanie Berliet · 8:33 PM

I definitely believe masturbation should be incorporated into sex-ed. Sex-ed in this country is an embarrassment/

Kayt Sukel · 8:33 PM

Letting kids know it is a healthy, natural thing is good.

Melanie Berliet · 8:33 PM

Why not teach technique, too?

Kayt Sukel · 8:33 PM

Yeah, don't get me started on sex-ed in the U.S. And abstinence-only sex ed.

Kayt Sukel · 8:33 PM

Why not teach technique? Because it's going to be different for everyone. I think you need one-on-one instruction for that.

Melanie Berliet · 8:34 PM

It would be helpful for everyone interested in sex with women to understand the vagina better

Kayt Sukel · 8:34 PM

Directed masturbation is a one-on-one thing. We all have different bodies, different needs.

Kayt Sukel · 8:34 PM

Studying anatomy, yes -- but by studying anatomy and physiology, you learn just how different every vulva is.

Melanie Berliet · 8:34 PM

Right. But maybe some general ideas. Some direction on where the clitoris is.

Kayt Sukel · 8:35 PM

I think we could do a world of good by just letting kids know that it is okay to explore their own bodies.

Kayt Sukel · 8:35 PM

Let them know more about their anatomy. And then give them homework to go home and make it work for them.

Melanie Berliet · 8:36 PM

Thanks to unreasonable anatomy charts, and all the designer vaginas featured in porn, some women are definitely too scared about their appearance.

Kayt Sukel · 8:36 PM

Oh, the vulva anxiety!

Kayt Sukel · 8:36 PM

Not just appearance either -- smell, taste, feel, etc.

Melanie Berliet · 8:36 PM

Yeah. Do you think men have as much anxiety about the appearance of their genitals?

Kayt Sukel · 8:36 PM

We need to be telling our daughters that so many bodies are beautiful.

Melanie Berliet · 8:36 PM

Of course they get caught up in size, but....

Kayt Sukel · 8:37 PM

Size comes up -- but I think more and more men are "manscaping."

Kayt Sukel · 8:37 PM

That's due to porn and men's mags and such.

Melanie Berliet · 8:37 PM

Is manscaping just about hair?

Kayt Sukel · 8:37 PM

I have had one male friend ask about "funky tasting spunk" after seeing the Sex and the City episode.

Kayt Sukel · 8:37 PM

But I think there's a lot more female anxiety about this kind of stuff.

Kayt Sukel · 8:38 PM

I'm not a guy -- so let's turn that question over to the listeners. Is manscaping all about hair?

Kayt Sukel · 8:38 PM

Class, class? Anyone? Anyone?

Melanie Berliet · 8:38 PM

No listeners manscape?

Melanie Berliet · 8:38 PM

★ Spotlighted from Elle Saillant

“I've heard red meat doesn't help men with their "funky tasting spunk".. makes it worse.”

Melanie Berliet · 8:38 PM

So many urban legends out there

Kayt Sukel · 8:39 PM

There are! I mean, has anyone actually done a blind spunk taste testing?

Melanie Berliet · 8:39 PM

Manscaping according to Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=manscape

Melanie Berliet · 8:39 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“manscaping IS all about the hair.....theri isn't anything else to do without surgery”

Kayt Sukel · 8:39 PM

And yet, surgery is on the menu for some women now.

Kayt Sukel · 8:40 PM

They want to shorten their labia, lighten the skin around their vulva.

Melanie Berliet · 8:40 PM

I can see why women would want to tighten things up, but labiaplasty is a whole other game

Kayt Sukel · 8:40 PM

I've yet to meet a man who has said, "If that woman doesn't have a bleached ass hole, I'm totally not going to hit it."

Melanie Berliet · 8:40 PM

Anal bleaching is a thing too

Kayt Sukel · 8:41 PM

I know. But I think most men are generally just excited that they are going to have sex -- I don't think they are looking for perfect white ass holes.

Kayt Sukel · 8:41 PM

Guys, you can correct me if you need to!

Melanie Berliet · 8:41 PM

I've never met a bleached asshole fixated man in my life.

Kayt Sukel · 8:41 PM

I always wonder how much men really care about hair, labia length, skin color, etc.

Melanie Berliet · 8:41 PM

(to my knowledge)

Kayt Sukel · 8:41 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“if money was no object would either of you consider surgery to your lady parts?”

Kayt Sukel · 8:42 PM

Hell. No.

Kayt Sukel · 8:42 PM

★ Spotlighted from Ian Calderon

“I don't like hair”

Kayt Sukel · 8:42 PM

We have someone going on record as not liking hair. Lots of preferences out there.

Kayt Sukel · 8:42 PM

But, Ian, would you not have sex with a girl you really liked if she did have pubic hair?

Melanie Berliet · 8:42 PM

The only surgery I would consider would be vaginal tightening. Some women loosen up a lot during childbirth to the point that they have trouble orgasming, or experience incontinence.

Kayt Sukel · 8:43 PM

★ Spotlighted from Lee Diamond

“I like hair”

Melanie Berliet · 8:44 PM

I used to be a lot more vigilant in the pubic hair waxing department

Kayt Sukel · 8:44 PM

Incontinence is a medical issue -- so I can see wanting to fix that up.

Kayt Sukel · 8:44 PM

My husband takes the "it's your body, do what you want" approach. And I love him for it.

Melanie Berliet · 8:44 PM

That is a smart man

Kayt Sukel · 8:44 PM

★ Spotlighted from Ian Calderon

“Well, If I really liked the girl I would have sex with her. But I would suggest her to manscape it”

Melanie Berliet · 8:45 PM

I would hope most men feel that way. But I suspect there are guys who do mandate bikini waxes.

Kayt Sukel · 8:45 PM

Well, I'm sure there are women who mandate manscaping, too.

Melanie Berliet · 8:45 PM

Totally

Melanie Berliet · 8:45 PM

Hopefully the anti-hair people find each other

Kayt Sukel · 8:45 PM

Again, lots of stuff falls into that whole "normal" category, whether we are talking sex or waxing.

Melanie Berliet · 8:45 PM

Who wants to tell us how often they masturbate?

Kayt Sukel · 8:46 PM

Me, too. Because waxing is a commitment unless you are into it, too.

Kayt Sukel · 8:46 PM

Yes! Share!

Melanie Berliet · 8:46 PM

★ Spotlighted from Matthew Tieszen

“Masturbate? Almost daily.”

Melanie Berliet · 8:46 PM

Ladies?

Kayt Sukel · 8:47 PM

I know a lot of men who say the same thing.

Melanie Berliet · 8:47 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“normal is the worst word in the english dictionary....nothing is normal....never has been...never will be....its all about the individual wants/needs”

Kayt Sukel · 8:47 PM

Women, on the other hand, I don't hear from as often...

Melanie Berliet · 8:47 PM

me neither

Kayt Sukel · 8:47 PM

I have one girlfriend who admits to doing it "as often as she can."

Kayt Sukel · 8:48 PM

She has three kids so I have no idea what that really means.

Melanie Berliet · 8:48 PM

I remember the first time a girlfriend told me she masturbated. It seemed like a big deal. Until I thought about it

Kayt Sukel · 8:48 PM

You know, I got all these icky emails after my story about the fMRI came out. And I wondered -- don't these dudes realize that, as a woman in her late 30's, I've probably wandered in my lady garden before?

Melanie Berliet · 8:49 PM

I'd like to see some of those emails. Did you reply to them?

Melanie Berliet · 8:49 PM

I suppose they turned you into a fantasy

Kayt Sukel · 8:49 PM

I have a Tumblr for some of them: http://kaytsukel.tumblr.com/

Melanie Berliet · 8:50 PM

So you not only donated an orgasm to science...you donated a fantasy to horny guys who read New Scientist

Kayt Sukel · 8:50 PM

★ Spotlighted from Elle Saillant

“The policy ought to be, live and let live. Some people need it once a day, some people need it once a week.”

Kayt Sukel · 8:50 PM

Hear, hear, Elle!

Kayt Sukel · 8:50 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“i have an amazing partner and as a result my "beat" sessions have dramatically slowed down”

Kayt Sukel · 8:51 PM

That can happen. Context is important. Regular sex, work, kids -- these things can get in the way of spank time.

Melanie Berliet · 8:51 PM

Katy, I have one last question for your: Where is masturbation going?

Kayt Sukel · 8:52 PM

Hopefully to orgasm!

Melanie Berliet · 8:52 PM

Good answer.

Kayt Sukel · 8:52 PM

But I hope it becomes part of our sexual vocabulary -- not just as a punchline.

Kayt Sukel · 8:52 PM

I hope we teach kids to respect their bodies by learning about them and what feels good.

Melanie Berliet · 8:52 PM

Better, more frequent orgasms for everyone. The world would be a happier place.

Kayt Sukel · 8:52 PM

Imagine how less stressful the line at Starbucks would be if everyone was getting caffeine and some O-time!

Melanie Berliet · 8:52 PM

It would be nice if people could say "vagina" without being looked at askew.

Kayt Sukel · 8:53 PM

YES! And know the difference between vagina and vulva.

Kayt Sukel · 8:53 PM

And be able to pin the tail on the clitoris.

Melanie Berliet · 8:53 PM

Yes! An important skill for all.

Kayt Sukel · 8:53 PM

We shouldn't discount the importance of pleasure -- male or female.

Kayt Sukel · 8:54 PM

Any other questions for our last couple minutes?

Melanie Berliet · 8:54 PM

yes, ask away....

Kayt Sukel · 8:54 PM

★ Spotlighted from Sasha A. Tcherevkoff

“did you masturbate today?”

Melanie Berliet · 8:55 PM

I have not...yet

Kayt Sukel · 8:55 PM

I did not. I just got back from my honeymoon though...

Melanie Berliet · 8:55 PM

lots more day left, though

Kayt Sukel · 8:55 PM

True that -- lots more day left.

Kayt Sukel · 8:55 PM

★ Spotlighted from Edward Barboza

“Is that link SFW?”

Kayt Sukel · 8:55 PM

The Tumblr? Yes. All text.

Kayt Sukel · 8:56 PM

I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you all about my book -- http://www.amazon.com/This-Is-Your-Brain-Sex/dp/1451611560/

Melanie Berliet · 8:56 PM

You would indeed be remiss.

Kayt Sukel · 8:56 PM

There's lots more in there about brains, sex, love -- and yes, orgasms.

Melanie Berliet · 8:56 PM

It's an awesome, informative read.

Melanie Berliet · 8:57 PM

Okay I suppose that's a wrap for today!

Kayt Sukel · 8:57 PM

Okay, y'all -- thanks for coming!

Kayt Sukel · 8:57 PM

And Melanie, I'm going to hold you to that think-off next time I'm in NYC. I'll bring the wine!

Melanie Berliet · 8:57 PM

It was a sincere pleasure! Thank you so much, Kayt, for being such an awesome co-host

Kayt Sukel · 8:57 PM

It was so much fun. As is everything with you, my love!

Melanie Berliet · 8:57 PM

I'm going to start practicing the "think off" NOW

Melanie Berliet · 8:57 PM

Until next time....

Kayt Sukel · 8:57 PM

Homework for EVERYONE!

Kayt Sukel · 8:57 PM

Adios...and thanks again!

Melanie Berliet · 8:58 PM

Yes! Thank you all listeners! Bye bye.

Forum · 109

Forum· 109 comments

111 visitors

Tawkers AdminJun 20, 2013, 4:29 PM

And don’t forget to “Like” the comments you want the Hosts to see by clicking the 3 dots and hitting the thumbs up button. They only see comments that get enough likes to become “Overheard”

Tawkers AdminJun 20, 2013, 4:29 PM

Welcome to the Forum, everyone! If you want to get involved, click “Who is Here” and then “Listen” to the people whose comments you want to see.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 5:10 PM

Can't wait for this one!

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 6:38 PM

This is gonna be awesome! Can't wait!

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 6:38 PM

Only 1 hr and 21 mins to go! yay!

James MayleJun 24, 2013, 7:33 PM

I got a not that Lee Camp was supposed to be live at 3:00 pm, I'm a newbie and can't Find it, anybody ,anybody ...

Blake IanJun 24, 2013, 7:47 PM

Hey James... Here is the link to Lee Camp's Tawk (tomorrow at 3pm) http://tawke.rs/1atY87T

Trey WilliamsonJun 24, 2013, 7:59 PM

This is going to be good.

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 7:59 PM

Countdown, almost time!

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 7:59 PM

Agreed Trey Williams!

Trey WilliamsonJun 24, 2013, 8:01 PM

I have had orgasms exclusively with women!

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:02 PM

do they pay for those?

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:02 PM

orange juice and a cookie?

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:02 PM

Panic Attack + Orgasm... that's a first! lol

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:03 PM

panic attack + orgasm = premature ejaculation?

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:03 PM★ Spotlighted

potential applications of orgasms? explain please!

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:04 PM

my apt is sterile

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:04 PM

Don!!!

Rachael WorkmanJun 24, 2013, 8:04 PM

hahaha @sasha

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 8:05 PM

I LOVE HIM

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:05 PM

Good ole JGL.

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:06 PM

like an iPhone app?

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:07 PM★ Spotlighted

why is it that men seem to have no issues talking (openly and publicly) about masturbation but women traditionally do not?

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:07 PM

so can we re-interpret pain as pleasure? how about emotional pain, cause that would be great for me.

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:07 PM

Truly makes sense... thanks for replying Kayt!

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:08 PM

Female viagra bottles with Don Draper's face on them. Sign me up.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:09 PM★ Spotlighted

it may be in joke form when men are around women but when we are with the boys its dead serious

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 8:09 PM

Because women are judged

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:10 PM

i was only kidding when I said iPhone app...

Blake IanJun 24, 2013, 8:12 PM

"our anatomy is just trickier to figure out" - Understatement of 2013!

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:12 PM

I'd like to know too @sasha

Dave BensonJun 24, 2013, 8:13 PM★ Spotlighted

Do the potential medicinal benefits apply to men as well?

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:13 PM

You would think that women wanting more sex would make men HAPPIER! So who wants the double standard, anyway?

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:15 PM

then why don't open relationships work for more people?

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:15 PM★ Spotlighted

"women reported having more orgasms with new partners." That's interesting Kayt, because it is often said that women need the deeper emotional connection first, in order to be able to achieve orgasm.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:15 PM

as someone in their late 30's, i have accepted the fact that male/female masturbation is a healthy/natural undertaking....as such I am always curious to see how often or not my close pals are engaging in the behavior...

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:16 PM

Sasha, when you say "see," do you mean literally? Is this a voyeurism thing?

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:17 PM

loaded is a loaded term in sexuality

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:18 PM

another name for guys who swear by fapstinence is "liars"

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:18 PM

the amount they may engage gives me insight into ones personal life and how healthy their sex life is....

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:19 PM

@jordan i do like to "see" + "watch"

Jordan BirnbaumJun 24, 2013, 8:19 PM

excellent answer, sasha!

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:20 PM

is period sex where i dress up like i'm in the 1800's?

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:22 PM★ Spotlighted

How can these other components you listed be taken into account when studying orgasms?

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:23 PM★ Spotlighted

I think it's a combination of your physiological capability to get there, and whomever is "giving you a hand" no?

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:23 PM

im not a player i just crush alot

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:24 PM

big pun @sasha

Carlos VegaJun 24, 2013, 8:25 PM

@Sasha, there's so many pretty girls out there... totally feel you

Tawkers AdminJun 24, 2013, 8:25 PM

Remember folks, the hosts ONLY see comments that get "Overheard" - So vote up the comments you like! As the room gets more crowded it takes more likes to get OH.

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:26 PM

classroom? hot for teacher?

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 8:26 PM

you go girl @kayt

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:27 PM★ Spotlighted

what does science say about women who can masturbate without physical contact....ie: wit their minds

Rachael WorkmanJun 24, 2013, 8:27 PM★ Spotlighted

In the school pick-up line?! If the other dads only knew what was going on a few cars in front of them.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:28 PM

this dad knows

Blake IanJun 24, 2013, 8:29 PM★ Spotlighted

Do you guys remember the first time you ever masturbated? Was it premeditated or did it just "happen"?

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:29 PM

I've heard that from some of my friends Melanie... they believe that if they enjoy their toys too much, they won't be as receptive to a man's touch.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:31 PM★ Spotlighted

should masturbation be taught in school sex ed classes?

Dave BensonJun 24, 2013, 8:32 PM

What is a penis to be used for if not a handle?

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:33 PM

I don't think they require classes... they figure it out @sasha.. whether they want to or not. Like Kayt said... they notice that it feels good, so they go for it.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:33 PM

we learn techniques for putting on a condom? why not good healthy sex and masturbation?

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:34 PM

I am a great one on one instructor.....just saying

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:35 PM

i am so sad we only have 10 more minutes

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 8:37 PM

I think it's just hair

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:38 PM★ Spotlighted

I've heard red meat doesn't help men with their "funky tasting spunk".. makes it worse.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:38 PM★ Spotlighted

manscaping IS all about the hair.....theri isn't anything else to do without surgery

Carlos VegaJun 24, 2013, 8:38 PM

Size does bother us a little, but in general we're always proud of them. Usually the main concern is how much hair is socially accepted :P

Ian CalderonJun 24, 2013, 8:39 PM★ Spotlighted

I don't like hair

Matthew TieszenJun 24, 2013, 8:39 PM

Yeah it is. But possibly for different reasons. Working in hotter environs seems to keep things more comfortable... temperature wise.

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:39 PM

LOL

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:39 PM

I probably got that from Sex & The City too Melanie lol... that show was a "bible" of sorts while I went through high school

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 8:40 PM

Why?

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:41 PM★ Spotlighted

if money was no object would either of you consider surgery to your lady parts?

Lee DiamondJun 24, 2013, 8:41 PM★ Spotlighted

I like hair

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:42 PM

From what I heard from my male friends during my college years Kayt... many. But then again, it's always a matter of opinion.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:43 PM

yes lee....run with it like the 70"s

Ian CalderonJun 24, 2013, 8:44 PM★ Spotlighted

Well, If I really liked the girl I would have sex with her. But I would suggest her to manscape it

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:44 PM

Sounds like a keeper Kayt.

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:45 PM

"womanscape", ian?

Ian CalderonJun 24, 2013, 8:45 PM

Just for the record. I always manscape my parts :P

Matthew TieszenJun 24, 2013, 8:46 PM★ Spotlighted

Masturbate? Almost daily.

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:46 PM

P.Diddy was famous for telling his gf's, "Get a brazilian"

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:46 PM★ Spotlighted

normal is the worst word in the english dictionary....nothing is normal....never has been...never will be....its all about the individual wants/needs

Blake IanJun 24, 2013, 8:47 PM

I would like to never have to manscape again... Should I go electrolysis?? I will never want to have hair in that region for as long as I live!

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:47 PM

Well said @Sasha

Carlos VegaJun 24, 2013, 8:48 PM

But some girls do like the whole "70's experience" down there ... @Blake

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:49 PM★ Spotlighted

The policy ought to be, live and let live. Some people need it once a day, some people need it once a week.

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:49 PM★ Spotlighted

i have an amazing partner and as a result my "beat" sessions have dramatically slowed down

Edward BarbozaJun 24, 2013, 8:50 PM★ Spotlighted

Is that link SFW?

Ian CalderonJun 24, 2013, 8:50 PM

@edward I asked myself the same question haha

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:50 PM

“how much u charge for nudies?” #igetemails OMG hahaha

Ian CalderonJun 24, 2013, 8:50 PM

yes it is

Carlos VegaJun 24, 2013, 8:51 PM

Yes it is @Edward

Matthew TieszenJun 24, 2013, 8:51 PM

Sasha, Same here with the exception that I still do. More of a relax without the Pressure (Perceived) to perform. :\

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:53 PM

@matt true...same

brittany mangoldJun 24, 2013, 8:53 PM

Imagine the line at the DMV.

Matthew TieszenJun 24, 2013, 8:54 PM

As if the DMV line didn't move slow enough...

Sasha A. TcherevkoffJun 24, 2013, 8:54 PM★ Spotlighted

did you masturbate today?

Matthew TieszenJun 24, 2013, 8:55 PM

Twice...

Rachael WorkmanJun 24, 2013, 8:56 PM

Every guy go buy it now.

Deirdre SextonJun 24, 2013, 8:57 PM

http://newyorknatives.com/fcking-phd-erotica-vs-porn-and-the-death-of-narrative/#.Uciyp5XVn6k

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:57 PM

Thanks for the tawk girls!

Elle SaillantJun 24, 2013, 8:58 PM

Adios! ill be working on my hw

K SawyersJun 30, 2013, 2:28 AM

اا

ابو جابر الأحمدJul 12, 2014, 1:01 AM

yash carlosJul 26, 2014, 7:10 AM

Hello

yash carlosJul 26, 2014, 7:10 AM

yash carlosJul 26, 2014, 7:11 AM

I dont understand i am new there

مر

محمد ربوعيAug 20, 2014, 5:21 AM

Mbc