RT

Media Violence and Children

Jul 11, 2014

RM
Stage· 411 messages
Jul 11, 2014

Media saturation isn't really a question - it's the reality we live in. We've Tawked about the sickening prevalence of violence in the media and the "art-imitates-life-imitates-art" cycle of violence pervading culture. This time, we want to Tawk specifically about media violence and what we know (or don't) about the ways it affects children.

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:30 AM

Hey Hey Everyone! :)
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from Tawkers Admin

“Welcome to the comment section of the Tawk, where audience members can share their thoughts about the main conversation happening on the left. Don't by shy! Entering questions and comments is the only way to get the attention of the two Hosts on stage!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:30 AM

HI Rebecca! :)
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“hiya rachel!”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:30 AM

hey Robin thanks for coming tonight :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:31 AM

hi everyone!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:31 AM

Hey Robin!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:31 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“certainly! hiya rebecca!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:31 AM

★ Spotlighted from J Miller

“Hey all”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:31 AM

★ Spotlighted from Johnathonfall thethird

“Thanks for the talk Rebecca and Rachel”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:31 AM

welcome everyone! and yes I am excited to tawk about this topic, thanks to Rebecca for asking me :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:32 AM

Well, so how's everybody?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:32 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“too hot”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:32 AM

Noooooo!
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:32 AM

I agree with that Robin, one day I shall live by a big body of clean water
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:32 AM

oh no I'd rather have hot
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:32 AM

Me tooooo!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:33 AM

Good thing the planet's heating up, eh?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:33 AM

Too soon?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:33 AM

haha yeah maybe a bit too soon
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“hot - all i can think about is global wraming.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:33 AM

Heh.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:33 AM

I am from Minnesota so about half my year is winter, I hate winter :p
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:33 AM

It's the whole "Laughing to keep from crying" strategy...
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:34 AM

Exactly you have to laugh about it
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:34 AM

Golly! If I lived in Minnesota, I would just cry. That 6 month winter thing is no joke!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:34 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“well ya, me too, here in montana.”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:34 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yep rebecca”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:34 AM

it's not or for instance we had a late spring which lasted until June basically, which is abnormal
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:34 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“winter is a soul killer when its 6 months. = [”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:35 AM

I know I miss the sun so much in those times, I need sunshine and open water :)
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:35 AM

:)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:35 AM

so we are talking about media violence tonight?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:35 AM

That's the plan.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:35 AM

Media violence and children, in particular.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:35 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“not yet. = D”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:35 AM

Haha, Robin!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:36 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“;)”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:36 AM

lol
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:36 AM

so we have already established that our media is FULL of violence
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:36 AM

which it is
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:36 AM

everywhere you turn
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:36 AM

Jeepers.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:36 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“our planet is full of violence”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:36 AM

Yeah.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:36 AM

sad but true
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:37 AM

many would say that the arts are a reflection of the times, do you think this is the case or do you think we are fed violent images so young on purpose?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“the children of Palestine are the most heart-wrenching.”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“excellent question”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:38 AM

Partly, we are fed these images, these concepts, these WORDS, on purpose.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:38 AM

"I
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:38 AM

m gonna kill them!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:38 AM

Because Media includes school curriculum and propaganda, and that is definitely manufactured with an intent.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:38 AM

oops that was a quote example lol
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I think it is a little of both, Rachel.”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“to "get us used to it".. to accept it as normal.. ?”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:39 AM

Yeah, Rachel, i got you.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:39 AM

Violent words.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:39 AM

I was thinking early, just think of one MAIN example.... DISNEY
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:39 AM

We have a very violent and male-dominant language.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:39 AM

Still.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:39 AM

★ Spotlighted from Johnathonfall thethird

“Have you seen some of the music videos that have come out on youtube (usually 3-4 times a week fresh from production? Most (my opinion) have incredible violent and obscene themes and visuals and lyrics. Me and my kids preview them.”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:40 AM

Oh, Rachel, that's such a good example! Disney movies are EXTREMELY violent!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:40 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Speaking of Disney: have you seen the music videos on Disney lately. Dripping with sex”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:40 AM

I think you are right Julie. and J - I think that it is more about shaping our behaviors and words like Rebecca is saying, more than a reflection I mean the mainstream media isn't really able to tell the stories they necessarily want to tell anymore
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:40 AM

its big business now too
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:40 AM

Jonathan and Julie, you guys make excellent points.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:40 AM

Music videos are beyond the pale.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:41 AM

I mean alot of the movies and plot lines there is always the good guys vs the bad guys
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:41 AM

Always.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:41 AM

And always with the hitting!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:41 AM

And the stabbing!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:41 AM

@Julie Disney channel is way different than 15 years ago :O
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:41 AM

Children's movies are actually very stressful.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:42 AM

And I have to say I loved these movies as a child and loved the struggle for good to win
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:42 AM

They have multiple action peaks, very dramatic music...it seems exhausting!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:42 AM

I mean, have you WATCHED Polar Express? There's like no calm sequwnce!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:42 AM

★ Spotlighted from Johnathonfall thethird

“People in the states seem to be uninterested in what is happening NOW in Gaza and innocent children especially. Just look at the media coverage...print, visual, audio???”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:42 AM

haha no I haven't I don't watch too many newer kids movies
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:43 AM

I make my nephews watch the old ones lol Newsies was my fav :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:43 AM

Isn't it weird, Jonathan? We don't want to know about REAL violence, only fabricated violence.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:43 AM

I don't watch many newer kids movies, either.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:43 AM

John one thing I notice is that the movies we watch as children say we should stand up against injustices everywhere yet when you are older and do the same, somehow you are not fit for society
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Newsie was full of violence too :-)”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:44 AM

My son gets gifted movies often, and they often don't get played through.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:44 AM

Our neighbor gave him the Lego Movie the other day. Totally inapporopriate, it turns out...
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Do you think people suffer from desensitization?”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:44 AM

Yes.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:44 AM

It was, honestly I loved those types of movies, my dad brought me up on martial arts movies, especially jackie chan, I always thought I need to be able to defend myself
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i care hugely about what is happening in Gaza. i feel horrible about it. but what can i DO? so infuriatingly frustrating.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:45 AM

but maybe those movies made me feel a little more like I needed to be protected, introduced more fears than were there
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:45 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“Julie, i think that is exactly what's happening.”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:45 AM

I do think media spreads fear that's out of proportion to what's real.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:46 AM

desensitization has been proven in a lot of research in this area
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:46 AM

for adults
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:46 AM

But, because humans respond to stories, those images - the stories in movies, etc., stay with us.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:46 AM

I think that is why being a child and watching such things is more of a danger
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:46 AM

Not so much the stats and blurbs on the news.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:46 AM

Exactly!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:46 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Plus I think people think that it is not happening in my backyard so I am "safe". It is happening halfway across the world so it does not affect me”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:46 AM

we need to build a sense of community and unity; a message rarely seen in the media
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“but, there is a fatal flaw in that thinking.”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i am "safe"”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:47 AM

But we don't feel "safe" - we feel under siege!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:47 AM

and there is the big question I have Robin, with dangerous things in the world, our kids WILL deal with violence already, talking about stranger danger, abuse etc...
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:48 AM

can we really truly keep them away from all the violence?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:48 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i certainly do feel like that... and the truth is... we ARE under seige.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:48 AM

under siege by the media or society?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:49 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I feel under siege by the media”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:49 AM

to think a certain way Julie?
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:49 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“by the powers that be, rachel”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:50 AM

"All the violence" - a.) I think a lot of the violence is exaggerated as we've talked about before and b.) no, we can't, but we've increasingly shaped our habits to conform to this notion that EVERYTHING is too dangerous for kids.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:50 AM

for sure, so the overwhelming message then seems to be fight violence with more violence
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:50 AM

EXACTLY!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I feel like violence is a constant noise in the background of everything.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“That is why I chose not to watch the news before I go to bed”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“me too, julie”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:50 AM

But, really, when we fight violence with violence, we still have violence!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:50 AM

and what does that teach the children?
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:51 AM

★ Spotlighted from Johnathonfall thethird

“So whenever referring to gov it is obviously "corporate controlled Gov" would anybody disagree with this?”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:51 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i totally agree, Johnathon”

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Rachel McDonnell · 12:51 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“SO true, Rebecca!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:51 AM

I'd agree with that John
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:51 AM

As much as I love Lee Camp's work, I think his tag line, "Keep Fighting," is an example of the problem. If we use violent words, we get violent actions!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:51 AM

If we use violent images, we ge violent thoughts!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:52 AM

The way that the media portrays women is nothing less than a violent onslaught.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:52 AM

not to mention our world is violent enough and they will need to learn this too soon, why add it to the media too
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:52 AM

ugh! I know!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:52 AM

Indeed.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:52 AM

I love that my nephews says "girl power" every time an awesome girl character does something lol
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:52 AM

But if you only learn that the response to violence is violence, that limits your options...
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:52 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I don't know... lately I feel like an Amazon Warrior :-)”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:52 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“look at the cops these days. crzy over the top violence reported daily.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:53 AM

yes and that's not to say that you will never need to use violence but it should be a last resort and it isn't
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:53 AM

@Robin - I think part of that is their conditioning. They learn to see violence everywhere. No wonder they crack! They're made crazy!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:53 AM

I think it should be a regrettable offense to use violence. But that's not how we value it in our society.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:54 AM

cops taser now instead of using their hand to hand like they were supposed to, it is like we are trading in decency for an easier way to defeat others
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:54 AM

When we talk about the battles that were fought, it isn't discussed as a grievous error.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:54 AM

People discuss war tactics like chess moves.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:55 AM

You are such a peace lover Rebecca! I consider myself a very peaceful person, but I also think that I need to be able to take someone down if I need to, cuz as a woman thats the world I live in, it isn't right but I need to feel protected
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:55 AM

how do we deal with this side of the coin?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:55 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i am always seeing posts or hearing news stories that basically glorify war and violence. it makes me sick.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:55 AM

and children who are also a vulnerable population?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:55 AM

Exactly! It should be sickening!
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:55 AM

It's horrible!
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:55 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Guess I should clarify: fighting against my lawn mower, water system and everything else that has broken in the last month or so.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:55 AM

warrior woman! :)
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:55 AM

And we ALLOW this to continue by refusing to talk about it differently.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:56 AM

so maybe if we call out all the ways our society is overtly violent things will begin to change?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:56 AM

I...I think so.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:56 AM

force people to see this sickening reality and start to change things
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:56 AM

Yes.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:57 AM

Because, in my own small world, I've seen that happen.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:57 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I think the most disturbing trend in warfare to me is the trend of remote control and or surveillance of the battle field. People sitting in a room watching the strike go down seems like it would detach the people in command from the actual damage i”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:57 AM

Complete desensitization Julie and should NEVER be allowed when talking about taking people's lives, so scary!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:57 AM

how rebecca?
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:57 AM

My dad was always abusive and violent. And he's big. And I am not. But when I finally faced him down and said, "This is NOT how adults talk to one another!" - he never touched me again.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:58 AM

wow that is awesome! so you just called him on his shit
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:58 AM

I like this plan for a better world :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:58 AM

Yeah.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 12:58 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Bravo, Rebecca. It took a lot of courage to stand up to him.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:58 AM

I wish I'd been able to do it sooner.
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:58 AM

it really does I can't imaging what that must have been like
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:58 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“very courageous”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:58 AM

Thanks, guys. :)
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:59 AM

So, I'm just saying...I think it can happen.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:59 AM

I think that by saying to people, "Wow, that's an overtly violent statement"
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Rachel McDonnell · 12:59 AM

so how do you raise children in this world without them getting this inherit message of "more violence" we seem to be spewing?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 12:59 AM

Or, "Wow - that's pretty condescending to women, don't you think?"
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:00 AM

Oh. Big question.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:00 AM

oh yes for sure there is a lot of sexist language common in our country today too
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:00 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I would stand between my dad and mom so he would not hit her”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:00 AM

Oh, Julie, that's horrible! Brave girl!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:00 AM

so many courageous people in here tonight, so sorry any one of you had to go through that
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:01 AM

Well, I can say, as a teacher and as a mom, I have a lot of concern about media violence and children. School shootings are not a joke.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:01 AM

In my house, in my classroom, shooting is not a game. Guns are NEVER toys. We do not "play" shoot.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:02 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“what if it's a picture of a fighter jet?”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:02 AM

Well, Robin...my son loves anything that goes.
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:02 AM

But I try to explain these things to him gently.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:02 AM

I feel like this is a bigger difference between north and south or maybe I am just not around guns, but I have never been around a gun except when I was down south but no the shootings are happening more it is so scary
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:02 AM

Like, he loves restaurants, but we don't do fast food.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:03 AM

I explained that McDonalds was a place where they made "yucky nuggets" (with the help of that funny Lee Camp spot). And now he knows.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:03 AM

oh but Rebecca that is awesome of you, my youngest nephew LOVES playing guns I refuse to play them with him but he loves it I try to get him to see a different side of the story or ask if there would have been a peaceful way to go about it
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I think kids need to see an viable alternative and we need to model that behavior to them”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:04 AM

that's awesome :) I have my nephew spreading the news about organic foods :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:04 AM

YES, Julie!
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:04 AM

haha I am sure Lee is thrilled with the fact children now can watch him hee hee yeah I haven't eaten at McDonalds in years
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“= D cool, rachel!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“School shooting are so scary to me. The thought that these kids want to emulate another shooter is crazy!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:05 AM

it is a very scary thing, how can we keep violence away with such threats :/
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:05 AM

I think parenting is key too
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:05 AM

all in how you talk to your children
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:05 AM

They have found taht the media hype following violent acts like school shootings, mass slayings and suicides DIRECTLY leads to a rash of similar events.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:06 AM

Think about that for a minute!
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:06 AM

and treat them, they learn directly from the parents first and their behaviors
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:06 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“my grandson talks about how the republicans are wrecking the planet. = D”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:06 AM

LOL, Robin!
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:06 AM

goes with my theory of our narcissistic society, these children grow up neglected and abused turn into sociopaths and narcissists in a world where violence is the only way to be notices
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:07 AM

Violence is a state of mind, like peace. It's a conscious choice, but it's also reflexive when you're under stress. So the key is creating a calm, rational base. Good training in the beginning.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:07 AM

well and violence is entertainment to the media too it "sells"
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:08 AM

oh yes I have a pretty explosive temper that is hard to keep under sometimes
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:08 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Keeping calm is so important> Too often parents have absolutely no patience for tehir kids. Kids can sense that”

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Rachel McDonnell · 1:08 AM

exactly Julie, we teach our kids how to react to stress too
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:09 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yer not alone in that rachel.”

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Rachel McDonnell · 1:09 AM

and we are all human we will have times when we are angry but that doesn't mean we need to let it take us over all the time either
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:09 AM

I have a temper, too, and i learned a lot of bad habits when I was young. But I don't WANT to be that way. I don't find it helpful. So I've tried to teach myself better habits. The Love & Logic methods really help me as a parent and a teacher.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:09 AM

it isn't helpful it is a disrupter
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:10 AM

and keeps you off tracj
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:10 AM

Indeed!
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:10 AM

*track
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:10 AM

And creates regret...
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:10 AM

maybe kids should learn meditation from an early age
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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“it makes me feel crappy. so i try to keep calm and pleasant.”

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Rachel McDonnell · 1:10 AM

YES! So much regret! that is the worst part
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:10 AM

me too robin, and then when people feel crappy about themselves what do MOST people do? lash out at others.. and the cycle continues
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:11 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“pleasant = patient”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:11 AM

I am teaching my son the "calm and quiet" mantra. He does pretty well at guided self-regulation when he's freaking out. I taught him to take deep breaths and use his words.
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Rachel McDonnell · 1:11 AM

so maybe they do do this on purpose, I mean the violence industry does make a pretty penny for this country/world
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:12 AM

Of course, my in-laws think that's crazy and manipulative, but they still throw temper tantrums themselves.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:12 AM

that is awesome Rebecca! that will help him out a lot in life, people don't know what to do with non-violent compassion, but they usually don't strike back at you
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:12 AM

lol oh god see people don't really GET non-violence it is sad
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“I had to look up the "Love and Logical Methods" looks interesting!”

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Rachel McDonnell · 1:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“http://www.loveandlogic.com/t-what-is-for-parents.aspx”

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Rachel McDonnell · 1:13 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yes! when you do not react with violence, it can throw 'em off.”

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Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:13 AM

Love and Logic has been a savior! And they have this great book about how to use it for adult relationships, too!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:14 AM

sounds interesting! I am a lover and a lover of logic, so it sounds perfect! :)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:14 AM

so what does everyone think is the BIGGEST issue with media violence and its effect on children?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:14 AM

I think it shapes the ways that we conceptualize things.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:14 AM

It affects the way we think about women. It affects the way we think about fighting. Guns. Shooting.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:14 AM

Killing.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:15 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“they get desensitized to it.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:15 AM

it trivializes the human life
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:15 AM

Or maybe we are all walking around with PTSD from all the violent scenes we see...
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:15 AM

we are all miracles, each one of us, who says we decide who lives and who dies, I think it is dangerous and implants a need for power and control
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:15 AM

true!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:15 AM

because studies indicate that the same parts of your brain are activated, whether you see violence for real or on TV...
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

Oooh, Rachel, that's an excellent point!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

"God Complex"
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

Ugh!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“my grandson was with his father, who threw his girlfriend into the wall and made blood run from her face all over. grandson did not think it was scary, or that his dad was a scary person.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

WTF? That is scary!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

Poor kid!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:16 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“"american exceptionalism" really, truly sux.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:16 AM

yes and contribute to this annoying idea that we must push others down to be successful ourselves, it contributes to keeping us divided
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:17 AM

Yeah!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:17 AM

that is terrifying the kid didn't even get scared Robin, makes me wonder what other awful things he had seen :/
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:17 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yes. poor thing.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:17 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“and, it makes it "ok" for others (think corporations) to take undue advantage of the rest of us.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:17 AM

We see the same tired "hero" storyline emerge...
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:17 AM

AND WE ARE BACK TO THE ROOT OF OUR WHOLE PROBLEM OF SOCIETY RIGHT NOW
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:17 AM

it's all connected
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:17 AM

Ha! You're right!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:18 AM

train us since we were too young to protect our minds
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:18 AM

So...violence in the media actually is a BFD!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:18 AM

YES
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:18 AM

HUGE
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:18 AM

Well, we have to do better.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:19 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“and so... very important to talk about it with our kids. inject some reality.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:19 AM

I mean you really have to commend public access channels like PBS and shows like Seasame Street don't you?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:19 AM

True...probably the only original plot lines out there! :P
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:19 AM

some of the arts and media don't sell out and are GREAT learning aids, but again parents I think need to be heavily involved in any media children watch
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:19 AM

yeah, or Mr. Rogers used to love that show :)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:20 AM

Reading Rainbow just got crowdsourced to come back on the air!! :D
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:20 AM

It's true! I'm not all about censorship, because that gets tricky, but at the same time, CENSOR THAT SHIT! Have you noticed that the Disney Princesses dress like hookers?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:20 AM

haha yes, just like Barbie such unrealistic standards :p
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:21 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“"but its a good babysitter! and i need a break from them!" ugh.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:21 AM

that is usually the excuse isn't it Robin? :p
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:21 AM

I know parents who screen things ahead of time, my friend used to make tapes of the shows so she knew everything that was on them
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:21 AM

And yet, they won't rebraodcast the Sesame Street episode where Maria explains breastfeeding to a child (No nipple, no skin exposed)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:22 AM

really?!?? ugh.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:22 AM

★ Spotlighted from Johnathonfall thethird

“I think the makers of grand theft auto should be grilled by congress and possible jailed.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:22 AM

Um, yes, Jonathan!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:22 AM

What makes people so scared of breastfeeding I don't get it
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:22 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“= ( the world has gone crazy”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“where is the love, peace, compassion?”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:23 AM

So do you think feminism and its rise will hopefully help us get back to our roots when it comes to how our mothers, women, and essentially caregivers are portrayed in the media?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:23 AM

Boobs are SEX BOOBS! Don't tempt my husband with your SEX BOOBS!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:23 AM

they silence the caregiver making her look weak or needy
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:23 AM

or a sex object yep
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:24 AM

or him
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:24 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“some progress is being made. we need a lot more, tho.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:25 AM

I can't even talk about how angry the portrayal of labor in the media makes me!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:25 AM

p.s. @ John my nephews love minecraft and I want to throw it out the window why does a building blocks game need "creepers" or "zombies" who kill you?? :p
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:25 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“the horrible, old, white men who are really running the show keep getting in the way. = D”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:25 AM

douchebags
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:26 AM

Rebecca, not having gone through labor I would be interested in hearing you explain your anger
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:26 AM

:)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:26 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“like the cheap shots in a horror movie that makes you jump, when it was just a loud noise. no substance.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:26 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“because it is an EASY THRILL, rachel. not very creative.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:26 AM

They never show a woman in her full power giving birth. They show the only dramatic part -transition...and a man is always running the show, not the woman.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:27 AM

those are the WORST Robin
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:27 AM

A DOCTOR. Not a supportive partner. The husband is all useless and dithering, usually. And the woman is always screaming and crying.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:27 AM

Makes me so mad!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:28 AM

yes exactly! the husband is passed out somewhere on the floor 2 seconds in
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:28 AM

yes exactly and the woman is all "irrational"
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:28 AM

So neither sex is empowered by that depiction!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:28 AM

I have witnessed a birth and it takes more than 10 seconds FYI media lol
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:29 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“what the heck is up with that kinda role modeling, anyway?”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:29 AM

And, frankly, you do get a little irrational in transition. It's a hormone surge that switches the body from dilating to pushing. But it shouldn't be parodied, and it's only one phase of labor!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:29 AM

exactly it is a stressful time for your body holy shit!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:29 AM

I commend any and every woman who has ever given birth!!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:29 AM

you are my heroes
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:29 AM

:)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:30 AM

talk about Amazon Warriors
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i had to have c-sections. 3 of them.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:31 AM

It's incredible, it's HUGE, and it hurts like holy hell...but you can HANDLE it. You don't need to fear it! Those kinds of images make birth seem unattainable, torturous, and something best left handled by doctors.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:31 AM

still must have been nerve wrecking though Robin
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:31 AM

I'm sure it was!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:31 AM

Robin!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:31 AM

That's incredibly hard, to have a newborn AND heal from a c-section!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:31 AM

I was a premie in an incubator the first month of my life...
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:32 AM

And you did it 3 times!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:32 AM

mothers and caregivers get the gift of life more and I think we need that influence more in media
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:32 AM

it is just as important as anything, maybe even more so - I would argue! :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:33 AM

Oh, we only want to see nubile females twerking. We do not want to see real women or children who are dressed in age-appropriate clothing...
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:33 AM

and in certain culture this isn't distinguished by gender, like the Native Americans forinstance, both men and women recognized how important nurturing everything was
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:33 AM

I AM STILL HAUNTED BY THAT TWERK ING
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Johnathonfall thethird

“Bye y'all...kids are getting up.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“bye johnathon”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:33 AM

night john thanks for joining us :)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:34 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“absolutely, the influence of love and life nurturing would be a nice change.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:34 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Great Tawk. Goodnight!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:34 AM

so rebecca what do you think we need to teach our children about the media today?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:34 AM

So, are we resolved to at least begin calling bullshit?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:34 AM

yes!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:35 AM

night julie :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:35 AM

To be honest, I think we need to limit the exposure, first and foremost.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:35 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yes, bullshit, it is!”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:35 AM

Advertising is a violent assault on the psyche.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:35 AM

how do we do that with mainstream media ?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:35 AM

It's unceasing.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:35 AM

It pushes every button.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:35 AM

maybe that could be our next topic?
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:35 AM

And our kids are too young to filter.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:35 AM

Maybe. :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:36 AM

So, they need limited exposure.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:36 AM

I love netflix, my nephews barely watch the t.v anymore and I happy if not for any other reason except NO COMMERCIALS
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:36 AM

I say, throw out your damned TV.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:36 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“ads enrage me. i haven't watched tv or commercial radio for many years. it is intolerable.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:36 AM

me neither robin I watch everything online and mute those darn ads
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:36 AM

And, for the love of Pete, check your magazines!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:36 AM

Those full-page ads of women in bondage selling perfume are making an impact!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i use google's ad blocker. works quite well”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:37 AM

i love my tv but I mostly watch odd random shows lol
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:37 AM

firefox has an awesome adblocker too
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:37 AM

Rachel, you are an adult. You can choose to watch or not watch whatever you want. And you have metacognition.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:37 AM

But 5-year-olds do not.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:37 AM

plus they won't spy on ya guaranteed
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:37 AM

exactly Rebecca!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:37 AM

So they need to be shielded from the onslaught. In my opinion.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“agreed”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:38 AM

I love to have the nephews outside playing or playing with their imaginations that is what I always had most fun doing as a child
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:38 AM

yes exactly.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:38 AM

:)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:38 AM

I used to play startrek in my woods
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:38 AM

haha
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“me too. i love being outside. not when it's in the 90's tho.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:38 AM

Eliminating TV ads is a good first step.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:38 AM

yes! ads are killer
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:39 AM

But you also have to be conscious of things like billboards.
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:39 AM

Holy crap, they are everywhere!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:39 AM

clothing
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:39 AM

food
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:39 AM

toys
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:39 AM

movies
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:39 AM

Yes, yes, yes!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:39 AM

the lego movie looked like it was one big ad
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:39 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i also resent how people are referred to as "consumers"”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:40 AM

One big ad - with shooting and inappropriate adult humor.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:40 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yucky! well, thanks for the review.”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:40 AM

I wish there were more movies where the "hero" team could win without shooting something...
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:40 AM

yeah I have seen bits and pieces I was unimpressed
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:41 AM

use science or something instead
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:41 AM

Robin, it would be amusing for an adult. But not for me and a toddler!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:41 AM

ooh Martian Child is a good non-violent "heroic" movie :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:41 AM

Video games, also, are unacceptable, in my opinion.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:41 AM

any chance to plug John Cusack movies
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:41 AM

Oooh, thanks! I'll look that one up!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:42 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“but aren't those movies "boring"?”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:42 AM

it is a great one, he adopts a boy who has been neglected
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:42 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“to a kid, i mean”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:42 AM

Robin, I am the most impossible-to-please movie person. I don't like violence. Or fluff. Or poor writing. Or anything that isn't efitte. :D
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:43 AM

in my experience kids love all kinds of stories, but the loving ones are the ones they love the most, I see that even from my nephews who are "men's men"
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:43 AM

Life as a House too Rebecca!!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:43 AM

watch it! omg the BEST movie
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:43 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“that's good to know, rachel”

RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:44 AM

Robin, your question gets to the heart of something. Media is designed to keep your attention. CHildren's media has ast action, bright colors, loud noises, catchy songs, loveable characters...
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:44 AM

It's insidious!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“true, rebecca”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:44 AM

and if we didn't condition our children to watch that, they would be like, WTF is all this stuff going on?!?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:44 AM

ugh popular music is worse
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:45 AM

Right?
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:45 AM

this was a great tawk tonight, hope everyone got something good out of it :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:45 AM

:)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:45 AM

Sure did!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:45 AM

omg it is where techno and autotune go to die or something
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:45 AM

yuck
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:45 AM

Thanks, Rachel! It's been enjoyable.
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:45 AM

yes it really was fun! thanks for having me! :)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:45 AM

thanks to the audience! :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:45 AM

Robin, Jonathan, Jennifer, you are lovely people! I've missed you guys!
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:46 AM

we should do another tawk soon :)
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:46 AM

Julie, too!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:46 AM

yes, we should!
RT

Rebecca Westbrook Toker · 1:46 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“yes, another!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:46 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“i like the later in the day, like this. more chance i can be here.”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:46 AM

yeah nights work good for me too, Rebecca has a little one I know,but we can plan something :)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:47 AM

Alright have a great night everyone! Thanks again Rebecca! :)
RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“sweet”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“thanks! everyone have a great night!”

RM

Rachel McDonnell · 1:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from Robin Maynard

“stay cool!”