Jordan Birnbaum

Host

Religion As Comedy : Comedy As Religion

Sep 17, 2013·119 visitors

Maggie Rowe

Cohost

Stage· 258 messages

Sep 17, 2013

With all due respect to Bill Maher, NOBODY makes fun of religion better than Maggie Rowe. (Turns out the best way to make fun of religion is by taking it completely seriously.) Plus she is at the center of LA's coolest underground comedy scene (that many people regard as their religion). On the subject of religion, Maggie knows what she's Tawking about!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

Hello Maggie Rowe!

Maggie Rowe · 2:00 AM

wow that countdown was intense

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

I know it feels like the countdiwn to doomsday

Maggie Rowe · 2:00 AM

christ will come in the twinkling of an eye and when we most expect it

Maggie Rowe · 2:00 AM

can't remember the verse exactly

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:01 AM

Good stuff to get rolling! hi everyone! if you're new to Tawkers, be sure to click on "Who's Here" soyou can listen to everyone else in the forum

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:01 AM

and be sure to vote up each other's comments so Maggie and I can see them

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:01 AM

OK -so maggie - for a little bit of context

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

you were raised in an extremely religious home, right?

Maggie Rowe · 2:02 AM

Yes, fundamentalist Christian - specifically Southern Baptist

Maggie Rowe · 2:02 AM

Literalists

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

Any anecdotal examples of how intense it was?

Maggie Rowe · 2:03 AM

oh gosh - well my favorite to tell is

Maggie Rowe · 2:03 AM

a sunday school teacher would put a dot on the board and ask you to imagine the worst thing you could ever imagine happening

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:03 AM

it happens to me every day

Maggie Rowe · 2:03 AM

I would imagine my parents dying and me being lost in space

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

oh my, that's awful!

Maggie Rowe · 2:04 AM

thank you

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from C. Brian Smith

“Tell the one about Aunt Flo!”

Maggie Rowe · 2:04 AM

Brian!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

Actually, I think there's a new movie coming out that should give form to your "lost in space" nightmare..."

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:05 AM

so that's nice

Maggie Rowe · 2:05 AM

but then to finish my sad story - then they would say imagine that dot is a present tense moment and hell would be and then they'd make the line go on and on and on

Maggie Rowe · 2:05 AM

being lost in space is very scary - especially as an orphan

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:05 AM

so you were brought up on a vision of perpetual pain and isolation and hopelessness?

Maggie Rowe · 2:06 AM

yeah, if you didn't believe enough - and who knows how much enough is?

Maggie Rowe · 2:06 AM

but God is the best and he LOVES YOU!!!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

I mean, I don't even know how to ask how you think that impacted you. How do you thinki that impacted you?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“organized religion so good at scaring people into submission. ick.”

Maggie Rowe · 2:07 AM

ah, I guess my medicine cabinet of psychotropic drugs could be a literal representation

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:07 AM

lol -is that better than your therapy transcripts?

Maggie Rowe · 2:08 AM

not better, just more measurable

Maggie Rowe · 2:08 AM

empirically and whatnot

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

ahh, nothing lioke a nhice round number of pills

Maggie Rowe · 2:08 AM

rachel - I like the term "spiritual terrorism" for the scaring people done by religion

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“Bill Hicks was raised by southern baptist parents”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

Mags -you and Bill Hicks!

Maggie Rowe · 2:09 AM

really? I actually didn't know that

Maggie Rowe · 2:09 AM

Southern Baptists really are the worst

Maggie Rowe · 2:09 AM

that's a terrible thing to say

Maggie Rowe · 2:09 AM

I take that back

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

there must be something about southern baptists producing great comedians!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

it's OK -I'll say it for you.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“How come we never hear about Eastern Baptist?”

Maggie Rowe · 2:10 AM

Southern baptists believe your head has to be fully submerged during baptism for you to be saved

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

Those bastards in the East need to be addressed too!

Maggie Rowe · 2:10 AM

We Southern Baptists judged them to death

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

aren't we already in hell?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

Is Rick correct? Are we already in hell?

Maggie Rowe · 2:11 AM

I really do think the heaven hell stuff is present tense

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:11 AM

a little Rick validation - way to go McCandless!

Maggie Rowe · 2:11 AM

or rather most effectively read in terms of psychology

Maggie Rowe · 2:12 AM

looking at it in terms of time - fucks it up

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:12 AM

so you experienced a whole religious community. how did observing the impact of religion on other people affect you?

Maggie Rowe · 2:12 AM

well it more affected me how it affected me

Maggie Rowe · 2:12 AM

everyone else seemed to be doing great with it

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:13 AM

Just as a human being and your friend, I have to say, I actually am very sorry you had to deal with all of this.

Maggie Rowe · 2:13 AM

oh, thank you, actually - I'm a big fan of empathy

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:14 AM

Me too. But the good news - you obviously found your way out. What were some of the ep[phanies that helped you get there?

Maggie Rowe · 2:14 AM

the getting out of the literalism is the hard part

Maggie Rowe · 2:15 AM

I actually think without that - religion is not so frickin' bad

Maggie Rowe · 2:15 AM

and in fact is pretty awesome

Maggie Rowe · 2:15 AM

I wouldn't have said that five years ago.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:15 AM

So if people would treat the bible as metaphor instead of directions?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:15 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rebecca Westbrook Toker

“Maggie - it sounds like we had similar experiences! I grew up in Texas with one set of grandparents in the Church of Christ and one in the Baptist church. They each thought the other was wrong.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:16 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rebecca Westbrook Toker

“That'll fuck a person up!”

Maggie Rowe · 2:16 AM

Yes, as a metaphor for dying to your own stupid ego

Maggie Rowe · 2:16 AM

that's the best thing religion has to tell us I think

Maggie Rowe · 2:17 AM

rebecca - yeah, the thinking someone else is wrong is the big miss step

Maggie Rowe · 2:17 AM

mistep

Maggie Rowe · 2:17 AM

oh whatever

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:17 AM

OK - so this is really interesting - because when I think about your comedy, it is actually based on the literalism of religion. Hell House, Purity Ball, Bright Day.

Maggie Rowe · 2:18 AM

yeah, it's the literalism that's a mess - but religion asks the big philosophical questions

Maggie Rowe · 2:18 AM

it's asking what is the good life? what will make me happy?

Maggie Rowe · 2:19 AM

Who's in charge? and maybe it's not me

Maggie Rowe · 2:19 AM

or not me as in the little guy that "I" think runs the show in my head

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:19 AM

OK -so you are kind of framing religion in what I consider the best possible way -as philosophy

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:20 AM

I only believe in religion enough to celebrate Mardi Gras but skip lent.

Maggie Rowe · 2:20 AM

that's very funny rick!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:20 AM

rick's having a good night

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:21 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Look where it got him”

Maggie Rowe · 2:21 AM

I think of religion at it's best as philosophy that has some practical effect to transform your experience of life

Maggie Rowe · 2:21 AM

Like I just finished reading the Big Book

Maggie Rowe · 2:22 AM

Which I keep wanting to call the "Best Book" because of pyrapshere

Maggie Rowe · 2:22 AM

but the idea of praying to higher part of yourself on regular basis and practicing certain daily rituals seems pretty profound

Maggie Rowe · 2:22 AM

I'm a fan of the AA folk lately.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:23 AM

Ok - so let's try to connect the huiman needs that create the need for religion, or something like it, in the first place.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“I think religion makes people falsely think they're morally superior to people who don't believe.”

Maggie Rowe · 2:23 AM

I agree Jim Vallely

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:23 AM

do you think we need religion to create a shared morality - or is that just human?

Maggie Rowe · 2:23 AM

I think religion at it's worst makes you think you're in the "in" group and others are on the out

Maggie Rowe · 2:24 AM

The thing I like about the "higher power" thing is it doesn't involve any superiority of preference

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:24 AM

So for some fundamental human needs - community, sense of meaning, discomfort with uncertainty -do you think religion is a viable means of addressing these things?

Maggie Rowe · 2:24 AM

I wish morality were taught more in terms of this will make you happy

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:25 AM

I wish morality were considered from a perspective of, "Otherwise, evertyone will killl each other, and we'll all be dead."

Maggie Rowe · 2:25 AM

Religion when it sucks attempts to give you certainty. When it's awesome, it tells you uncertainty is just fine

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:26 AM

"Don't believe everything you thinkg."

Maggie Rowe · 2:26 AM

That's my bumper sticker

Maggie Rowe · 2:26 AM

I think it's the idea of questioning who "I" is

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:27 AM

OK - so what went wrong? what happened to humanity that religion became so twisted?

Maggie Rowe · 2:27 AM

Cuz "I" am a big ol' dipshit a lot of the time who can't do any of things I say I'm gonna do

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:27 AM

★ Spotlighted from RICK SHAPIRO

“JESUS WAS JUST A GUY WHO COULDN'T KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:27 AM

great Shapiro - like it wasn't bad enough that we killed him...

Maggie Rowe · 2:27 AM

I think it's the need for certainty, like my smart husband head a need for superiority, and a need for those fuckers to get it in the end

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:28 AM

so on a certain level the people who grasp onto religion the most fiercely are the same who are most afraid of uncertainty.

Maggie Rowe · 2:28 AM

if religion didn't say those fuckers will get it in the end, I think it would be a lot less popular

Maggie Rowe · 2:29 AM

I totally think the religious graspers are the security graspers

Maggie Rowe · 2:29 AM

and it's using religion in the wrong way

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:29 AM

I mean, that would explain why they all have those pained looks on their faces

Maggie Rowe · 2:29 AM

well, I always thought that growing up

Maggie Rowe · 2:30 AM

christians looked miserable, the more devout, the more drawn and bitter

Maggie Rowe · 2:31 AM

you don't look drawn and bitter jordan

Maggie Rowe · 2:31 AM

the atheism suits your complexion

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:31 AM

So tell me what you think abgout this. Whenever people say that religion is responsible for all the horrible things in our history and the world, I like to remind them that actually, it's humanity that's responsible.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:31 AM

In fact, maybe religion was the least of all evils.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:31 AM

★ Spotlighted from C. Brian Smith

“Can we talk about the totally badass Pope for a second. Y'know, the pope who's COLD CALLING PRAYERS IN...”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:31 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“I heard the Pope drunk dialed Elton John for fashion tips!”

Maggie Rowe · 2:32 AM

Yes, totally! And also religion is responsible for some of the best things in the world

Maggie Rowe · 2:32 AM

what do you mean cold calling prayers?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:32 AM

With all that being said, it's pretty hard to take any of that shit seriously.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:33 AM

so do you know about the Zeitgteist movie and its claioms abgout the origins of religion? That Jesus, and every other religious figure, is a metaphor for the Sun? What do you think about that?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“I'm becoming a Sikh - the turban will cover my bald spot.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:34 AM

and protect you from said Jesus, I mean, sun.

Maggie Rowe · 2:34 AM

I feel like all religions are speaking to a basic truth of experience - Sun/Son/Higher power - dying, changing, cycle of life -

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:35 AM

That actually is a really good segtway into new age religions, like sientology, the secret, and all that other huillaballoo

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:35 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“A Pope who twitters is kind of amazing.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:35 AM

Selfie + Twitter + closet liberal pope

Maggie Rowe · 2:36 AM

Yay twittering popes!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:36 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“If you see white smoke coming from my mouth, it means I've chosen a new pipe.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:36 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“Or you just blew a ghost!”

Maggie Rowe · 2:36 AM

oh gary

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:36 AM

So are you surprised by the growing number and scope of new age religions? Or does it make sense that people are still seeking out the smae thing we always have?

Maggie Rowe · 2:37 AM

Okay well I go to Golden Bridge Yoga almost every day

Maggie Rowe · 2:37 AM

and it's as much the fake religion I made up as anything - and I love it!

Maggie Rowe · 2:37 AM

everyone always says you can't pick and choose

Maggie Rowe · 2:37 AM

lame

Maggie Rowe · 2:38 AM

of course you can

Maggie Rowe · 2:38 AM

last night one of the yoga Sikhs said that the greatest spiritual person who ever lived was..

Maggie Rowe · 2:38 AM

...Yoko Ono

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“don't forget older spirituality that existed before religion.. like that of the Native Americans who prayed to nature, the sun, and the Great Spirit... or Japan's Shinto which too a little from every spiritual practice I think "new" age isn't so new”

Maggie Rowe · 2:38 AM

because she let John Lennon have sex with whoever he wanted

Maggie Rowe · 2:38 AM

Not gonna pick that part but I love the music

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:39 AM

OH YOKO

Maggie Rowe · 2:39 AM

yeah, totally true - new age religion is revamped pre-Christian

Maggie Rowe · 2:39 AM

Yoko really was the best

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:39 AM

Saw is pre-christian where it's at when it comes to religion?

Maggie Rowe · 2:39 AM

Saw the movie?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:40 AM

so is pre-christian where it's at?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:40 AM

my spelling is not very strong tonight

Maggie Rowe · 2:40 AM

or early christian maybe - anything before the literalists sunk their teeth in

Maggie Rowe · 2:41 AM

You're spelling is great, Jordan.

Maggie Rowe · 2:41 AM

I like to be supportive.

Maggie Rowe · 2:41 AM

It's a big part of my identity.

Maggie Rowe · 2:41 AM

I don't want to go to hell, y'know.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:42 AM

You're safe if I have any say. OK. So I know this is a semantics issue, but aren't sports teams, political parties, music concerts, Comic-con and the like all sort of religions too?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:42 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

Maggie Rowe · 2:42 AM

One of my favorite terms ever is "Gran Faloon" from a Kurt Vonnegut book that I"m not remembering the name of

Maggie Rowe · 2:42 AM

help someone

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:43 AM

★ Spotlighted from Chris Pearson

“I am post-christian.”

Maggie Rowe · 2:43 AM

but a gran faloon is a false sense of connection to a group that aren't actually aren't the connected with

Maggie Rowe · 2:43 AM

The example in the book is "Go Hoosiers!"

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:43 AM

I am trans christian.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:43 AM

Slaughterhouse 5?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:44 AM

So you're saying that Burning Man is a Gran Falloon?

Maggie Rowe · 2:44 AM

no! I think Burning Man is based on an actual connection - that doesn't involve beating another group

Maggie Rowe · 2:45 AM

faloon part is needing to win

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:45 AM

ahh -so the Boston Celtics are a Gran Falloon. I get it.

Maggie Rowe · 2:45 AM

Yes!!!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:45 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rich Hagberg

“What is religious belief or faith if you cannot choose it of your own free will? Try things on, if it fits, wear it, if it doesn't put it back on the rack and try on something else. =)”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:45 AM

you agree with that, right Mags?

Maggie Rowe · 2:46 AM

well, I feel like the free will thing is not necessarily a helpful way to think of our lives

Maggie Rowe · 2:46 AM

I'm obsessed with this recently but if I had jeffrey daumer's genes and environment i'd be jeffrey daumer

Maggie Rowe · 2:46 AM

If had jordan's genes and environment i'd be jordan

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:46 AM

God forbid! I would never wish that on anyone!you know, Einstein didn't believe in free will either.

Maggie Rowe · 2:47 AM

I feel like I"m just doing whatever I'm programmed to do

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:47 AM

Einstein said that since time is only perception, everything has already happened.

Maggie Rowe · 2:47 AM

yeah, we're just watching the movie play out

Maggie Rowe · 2:47 AM

feels like we're in charge - but we're not

Maggie Rowe · 2:48 AM

Einstein was smart

Maggie Rowe · 2:48 AM

I hope he knew that

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:48 AM

so Maggie - we have to give a brief description of your work. start with hell house - can you tell everyone what it was in concept?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:48 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“If everything's already happened, why are we doing this again?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:48 AM

we weren't given a choice

Maggie Rowe · 2:49 AM

yeah, we don't do anything - but hell house I did that

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:49 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“Hey everyone, Maggie's worried about dead Einstein's self esteem!”

Maggie Rowe · 2:49 AM

Hell houses are scare you into converting haunted houses done at evangelical churches

Maggie Rowe · 2:50 AM

WEll, he looks so stressed in all the pictures with the hair

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:50 AM

lol -einstein stuck his finger in a socket

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rich Hagberg

“He's over it...”

Maggie Rowe · 2:50 AM

maybe einstein could have relaxed a little if he realized he wasn't really in control

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“Hey, Einstein. It's called a COMB!”

Maggie Rowe · 2:50 AM

Jim!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:51 AM

Who knew it would turn into an Einstein bashing party?

Maggie Rowe · 2:51 AM

Fuck Einstein

Maggie Rowe · 2:51 AM

Don't know how he became the poster dude for smart

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:51 AM

so you did a comedy take on the hellhouse. and it seems like you were pretty literal, and that's what made it so hilarious.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:51 AM

★ Spotlighted from Chris Pearson

“Flobee”

Maggie Rowe · 2:52 AM

yes - so we did the hellhouse according to the exact specifications and script from the pastor who created it

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:52 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“Hell house was amazing.”

Maggie Rowe · 2:52 AM

Now I'm actually a character in the current hell house package

Maggie Rowe · 2:53 AM

There's a character called "Hipster" who is burning in hell

Maggie Rowe · 2:53 AM

who screams "I thought it would be fun to make fun of Jesus. Now i'm burning in hell forever!"

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:53 AM

Oh my - he actually based a character on you in the real hell house?! That's amazing! Congratulations!!!

Maggie Rowe · 2:54 AM

Thanks! One day I want to go and give Hipster notes!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:54 AM

Plus, that's TOT^ALLY the best character to be.

Maggie Rowe · 2:54 AM

Well, except the girl who gets raped

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:54 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“It's a good thing there's no written record of us making fun Jesus...right guys?”

Maggie Rowe · 2:54 AM

That role is very popular among the young ones

Maggie Rowe · 2:55 AM

ooooooh!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:55 AM

ohhhhhhhhhhh

Maggie Rowe · 2:55 AM

This is gonna be thing that fucks me on Judgement DAy

Maggie Rowe · 2:55 AM

This!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:55 AM

It's going to be the thing that fucks me on my next job interview...

Maggie Rowe · 2:55 AM

Thanks JOrdan

Maggie Rowe · 2:56 AM

I'm gonna be lost in space!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:56 AM

OK -a quick word on Purity Ball - so you did a Tony and Tina's Wedding-type musical production based on an actual purity ball. Can you explain what that is for anyone unfamiliar with it?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:56 AM

★ Spotlighted from Chris Pearson

“Yeah, don't worry about selling our info to the government and NSA ...it is going all to God.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:56 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“It's okay for Jordan. Jewish. No hell.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:56 AM

★ Spotlighted from C. Brian Smith

“And no foreskin.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:57 AM

foreskin IS hell.

Maggie Rowe · 2:57 AM

Purity balls are prom-type events where dads go with their daughters - starting at age 5

Maggie Rowe · 2:57 AM

the daughters pledge their virginity to their fathers

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:57 AM

yep - nothing weird about that.

Maggie Rowe · 2:57 AM

and the fathers watch over the most precious gift they have to offer until they get married

Maggie Rowe · 2:58 AM

the important part is it's THEIR MOST PRECIOUS GIFT

Maggie Rowe · 2:58 AM

that's the best thing about them

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:58 AM

Now were these Purity Balls Jesus' idea?

Maggie Rowe · 2:58 AM

Jesus would have turning the shitty punch into wine

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:59 AM

now that's a party!

Maggie Rowe · 2:59 AM

I think Purity Balls fetishize virginity - they're like weird christian not-porn

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:00 AM

There's a huge market for that. OK -so when you got done exploring Christianity, it was time to focus on New Age. Can you give a little description of Pyrasphere?

Maggie Rowe · 3:00 AM

WEll, if you've ever wanted something that you did not have, then Pyrasphere is for you!

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:00 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rebecca Westbrook Toker

“That is just gross. If someone were going to make it out without an Oedipus Complex, it wouldn;t be via Purity Ball.”

Maggie Rowe · 3:01 AM

The idea behind Pyrasphere was to make fun of the shitty parts of new age religion -

Maggie Rowe · 3:01 AM

the promises of perpetual contentment that make everyone so miserable

Maggie Rowe · 3:01 AM

Yeah, purity balls are crazy Oedipal

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:02 AM

so you literally created an absurd new religion with your friends, and then you made a documentary following a fake journalist on a mission to expose your fake religion as a fraud.

Maggie Rowe · 3:02 AM

Yes - my favorite project ever!!

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:03 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“How can I see or get a copy of your funny Pyrasphere movie?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:03 AM

★ Spotlighted from C. Brian Smith

“I've wanted something I don't have! Heterosexuality.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:03 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jack Rudy

“I'm just here for the punch and pizza”

Maggie Rowe · 3:03 AM

oh Jim - well, on amazon

Maggie Rowe · 3:03 AM

and then streaming with a link I will send out soon

Maggie Rowe · 3:04 AM

Brian - if you really want heterosexuality, Pyrapshere has ALWAYS BEEN HERE FOR YOU!

Maggie Rowe · 3:04 AM

I don't know why I thought writing that in caps was funny

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:04 AM

OK Maggie - so we're at an hour, and I didn't even get to ask you about Sit N Spin or Dirty Laundry, and how that community became MY religion.

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:04 AM

will you come back for a Sit N Spin Tawk?

Maggie Rowe · 3:04 AM

yes love to!

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

Awesome - thank you so much Maggie -this was so fun!

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“the movie is called BRIGHT DAY!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

and audience - you rule as always - thanks for being here.

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jack Rudy

“It's almost pizza time! Thanks Maggie!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Great job, Maggie!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from JIm Vallely

“Great TAWK!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:05 AM

ahh yes, I feel fulfilled.

Maggie Rowe · 3:06 AM

I seriously am ordering pizza

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:06 AM

like a good Sit n Spin

Jordan Birnbaum · 3:06 AM

gnite all. and enjoy your pizza. Literally or metaphorically.

Forum · 166

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Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:00 AM

yo yo yo!!!

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:01 AM

Jesus three lines in and she's already talking about Jesus Christ.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:03 AM★ Spotlighted

Tell the one about Aunt Flo!

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:03 AM

Doomsday is for goyim.

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:05 AM

Gary's icon looks fat. Hi everybody!

Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:06 AM

hello. i mised anything?

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:06 AM★ Spotlighted

organized religion so good at scaring people into submission. ick.

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:06 AM

i bet that was difficult for you

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 2:06 AM

GAK! Southern Baptists are horrible people!

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:06 AM

@lucy nope. :)

Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:07 AM★ Spotlighted

Bill Hicks was raised by southern baptist parents

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 2:07 AM

God loves you, but sex is an evil thing you save for the one you LOVE - and God WILL send you to Hell.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:07 AM

Gave you some great material. At least two bangin live shows, by my count.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:08 AM

that's awful Maggie :( so happy my mother told me at a young age that I needed to figure out what I believed on my own, she'd answer questions about different religions and spirituality but she wouldn't tell me what was "best"

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:09 AM

And by "bangin' live shows" I'm not referring to your stripper days.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:09 AM★ Spotlighted

How come we never hear about Eastern Baptist?

Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:09 AM

his brother says the same maggie,so i wouldnt worry about it

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:10 AM

Eastern Baptist are pretty bad too!

Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:10 AM

cos southerners dont travel that far

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:10 AM

Every so baptist is a great comedian, as long as he/she is jewish.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:10 AM

I thought is was all baptists although I am no expert

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:11 AM

The Valley got up to 105 this weekend.

Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:11 AM

anyone ever catch a Gideon? those buggers leave bible in hotels,but you never see one

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:12 AM

My mind is clearer now... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWh4-BUFNMc

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:13 AM

I believe the energy theory... we are all energy when we die our bodies die but the energy just transforms into something new.. I do believe in things bigger than us call them what you want. but we are in control of if we become light or dark souls

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:14 AM

@Rachel: I hope when I die I become something slimmer

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:15 AM

@haha the "death" diet... sounds extreme

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 2:15 AM★ Spotlighted

Maggie - it sounds like we had similar experiences! I grew up in Texas with one set of grandparents in the Church of Christ and one in the Baptist church. They each thought the other was wrong.

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 2:15 AM★ Spotlighted

That'll fuck a person up!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:16 AM★ Spotlighted

I think religion makes people falsely think they're morally superior to people who don't believe.

Lucy DyerSep 17, 2013, 2:16 AM

Christians Fundamentalists Creationists -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R370YkYhV0w - Bill Hicks at his best

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:16 AM

I think that's right, Uncle Jimmy.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:17 AM

thanks nephew.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:17 AM

Still waiting for that molestation...

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:18 AM

Anyone who has attended a family seder knows about religion as comedy.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:19 AM

If you want to take away one great thing about the Bible.. Jesus is where it's at whether you believe he is the Savior or not.. he was a pretty nice, compassionate, and loving guy...

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:19 AM★ Spotlighted

Look where it got him

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:19 AM

Why not just let philosophy ask those questions? That's what it's for.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:20 AM

don't care Rick (we always have this talk lol) I would rather be that guy than someone who does nothing to help people

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:20 AM

Can we ever expect to see the Purity Ball movie, like Bright Day? Cause I think you, Andersen and Jimmy could really bring that thing to life.

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:20 AM

@R - It's the BIG QUESTION

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:21 AM

yes it should be used to open/expand people's minds to any and every possibility out there.. and there are alot! many we don't even know yet. like the universe <3

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:22 AM

Expand minds? That's my game

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:22 AM

but that's why I choose "spirituality" over "religion" to me religion automatically tacks on all the politics and scare tactics of organized religion

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:23 AM

I think AA handles God in the best way of any institution or religion I've seen yet

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:24 AM

In that it's a hopeful god

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:24 AM

It's the withdrawal symptoms, @CB

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:24 AM

The American brand of religion is particularly unpleasant.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:25 AM

At least the Muslims can all agree what direction to pray in.

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:25 AM

What's the benefit of living life under the authority and control of a higher power?

RICK SHAPIROSep 17, 2013, 2:25 AM★ Spotlighted

JESUS WAS JUST A GUY WHO COULDN'T KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:25 AM

As long as they have a compass

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:26 AM

LOL Rick Rosner

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:26 AM

I wish I had a bumper.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:27 AM

Shout it, brother.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:27 AM

@JIm Religion has gotten so intertwined with politics here it is ridiculous!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:27 AM

Jesus should be on TAWK then. Jordon?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:27 AM

@Rick It was the traif that got him

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:28 AM

haha.. damn peace loving hippies! IT ALL COMES BACK TO THEM! lol

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:28 AM

What is this 'we', Jordan?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:29 AM

i like this tawk, but it's not very comedic

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:30 AM

@Rachel True about politics and religion.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:30 AM

@Rick so Jesus walked into a bar....

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:30 AM

@Rick. Maggie's show's on religion are hysterical.

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:31 AM

(lol nope I didn't think that through.. I tried to make a joke but my brain is tired.. you just get a punchline lol)

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:31 AM★ Spotlighted

Can we talk about the totally badass Pope for a second. Y'know, the pope who's COLD CALLING PRAYERS IN...

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:31 AM★ Spotlighted

I heard the Pope drunk dialed Elton John for fashion tips!

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:31 AM

keep up the atheism Jordan... your skin is glowing! lol :)

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:32 AM

Is that the kind of bawdy humor Rick is hungry for?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:32 AM★ Spotlighted

I'm becoming a Sikh - the turban will cover my bald spot.

Gary ShapiroSep 17, 2013, 2:32 AM

Nice one, Jordan.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:32 AM

http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/news/2013/09/16/pope-phones-people-all-the-time-says-vatican-official/

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:33 AM

That Yahweh - sure got a sense of humor.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:33 AM

The Pope said: “For me, it’s much easier to call, to ask about the problem and suggest a solution, if there is one. Some people I call, others I write to instead,” according to Mgr Viganò.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:34 AM★ Spotlighted

A Pope who twitters is kind of amazing.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:34 AM

Pope can still pack em in, drew 3 million live in Rio

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:34 AM

You mean tweets - if he twitters he's probably an imbecile.

Gary ShapiroSep 17, 2013, 2:35 AM★ Spotlighted

If you see white smoke coming from my mouth, it means I've chosen a new pipe.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:35 AM

Oh Rick. What happened?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:35 AM

Or your tomsils are on fire

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:35 AM★ Spotlighted

Or you just blew a ghost!

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:36 AM

Maggie is the Dean Martin of religious comedy bits

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:37 AM

I worship a piece of pizza shaped like all 12 apostles

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:38 AM

Classic setup, and ... see?

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:38 AM★ Spotlighted

don't forget older spirituality that existed before religion.. like that of the Native Americans who prayed to nature, the sun, and the Great Spirit... or Japan's Shinto which too a little from every spiritual practice I think "new" age isn't so new

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:38 AM

I knew a guy who's grandfather lived next to L Ron Hubbard in the forties in Hawaii. L Ron Hubbard would complain that the neighbors mango tree or whatever was fucking up his driveway. Not very God like right?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:38 AM

Look where it got them

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:41 AM

It's accepting all beliefs as long as we love and care about each other what does it matter? who are we to even say that all these different "gods" people believe in aren't the same, just represented differently in different cultures? u learn fromall

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:41 AM★ Spotlighted

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:41 AM

It's the multiple gods idea that's pre-christian.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:41 AM

Maggie that's the kind of support Tawkers needs.

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:42 AM★ Spotlighted

I am post-christian.

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:42 AM

@Jordan - don't bring semitics into the argument. Nyuck, nyuck

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:43 AM

Like me and show business?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:44 AM

It's as sad state of affairs when jews are in the minority in a comedy tawk.

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:44 AM★ Spotlighted

What is religious belief or faith if you cannot choose it of your own free will? Try things on, if it fits, wear it, if it doesn't put it back on the rack and try on something else. =)

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:44 AM

Burning Man is disgusting.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:44 AM

I'd like to see something in a Baptist, regular.

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:44 AM

Haha, Running Man is still worse.

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:45 AM

we're a little nervous with this topic

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:45 AM

@Rick Rosner -- Aww man...

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:46 AM

and having it forced on you does?

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:47 AM

Mags - do you mean a moral compass?

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:47 AM

Like the oracle in Matrix said: you have already made the choice, now you need to understand it,

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:47 AM

"Just do the dance that you've been told." Jackson Browne

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:47 AM

yes it is both genes and how you were raised that make up who you are to a point.. but isn't that where self-discovery comes in? finding out who you are on top of all of that otherwise you don't have any choice in who you become.. how depressing

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:48 AM★ Spotlighted

If everything's already happened, why are we doing this again?

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:48 AM

@Jim we don't learn from experience

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:48 AM

Oh man...this is truly a topic I will have a hard time restraining myself.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:49 AM★ Spotlighted

Hey everyone, Maggie's worried about dead Einstein's self esteem!

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:49 AM

Maybe God gets residuals on reruns?

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:49 AM★ Spotlighted

He's over it...

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:50 AM

HAHAHAHA!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:50 AM★ Spotlighted

Hey, Einstein. It's called a COMB!

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:51 AM★ Spotlighted

Flobee

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:51 AM

Anti-semites!

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:51 AM

WHOA!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:52 AM★ Spotlighted

Hell house was amazing.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:52 AM

Correction: HOLLYWOOD HELL HOUSE was amazing

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:53 AM

Your sin is making fun of Hell houses...right?

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:53 AM

That is amazing! If that's true, we're all fucked.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:54 AM★ Spotlighted

It's a good thing there's no written record of us making fun Jesus...right guys?

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:54 AM

Right Uncle J!

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 2:55 AM

Maggie wants us all to know that Christians think she's a hipster.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:55 AM

Don't forget the abortion girl

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:55 AM

You might run into a little bit of an issue with "Camp" too.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:56 AM★ Spotlighted

It's okay for Jordan. Jewish. No hell.

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:56 AM★ Spotlighted

Yeah, don't worry about selling our info to the government and NSA ...it is going all to God.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:56 AM★ Spotlighted

And no foreskin.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:56 AM

No fiveskin either

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:56 AM

It's on ebay

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 2:57 AM

God, Purity Ball was terrific.

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 2:57 AM

Sam Kinison would have a blast with that...

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:57 AM

Cherry Poppin Daddies

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 2:57 AM

hahah! right jordan? lmao!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:58 AM

I still have daughter's virginity

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 2:58 AM

(It is a band, btw.)

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 2:58 AM

Gift? It's my birthday soon.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 2:59 AM

Hey, let's have a party with Jesus!

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 3:00 AM

Jesus Catering

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 3:00 AM

Purity Balls sounds like another Jonas Brothers Publicity stunt!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 3:00 AM

How comes Christians like drag shows in Vegas so much? Just asking

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 3:00 AM★ Spotlighted

That is just gross. If someone were going to make it out without an Oedipus Complex, it wouldn;t be via Purity Ball.

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 3:00 AM

Bright Day!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 3:01 AM★ Spotlighted

How can I see or get a copy of your funny Pyrasphere movie?

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 3:01 AM

@Rebecca Oedipus Complex! Psychology shout out! I like it! And that is what I thought.. talk about "daddy issues?"

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 3:01 AM★ Spotlighted

I've wanted something I don't have! Heterosexuality.

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 3:02 AM★ Spotlighted

I'm just here for the punch and pizza

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 3:02 AM

Oedipus is about unhealthy son-mommy love. This is unhealthy daughter-daddy love.

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 3:02 AM

You must be hungry now

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 3:02 AM

You're right - that's Electra Complex.

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 3:03 AM★ Spotlighted

the movie is called BRIGHT DAY!

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 3:04 AM

Thanks Rebecca.. I was thinking the opposite of that.. Freud who can or wants to keep track.. .either way has to create some father issues...

C. Brian SmithSep 17, 2013, 3:05 AM

Great Tawk, guys.

Gary ShapiroSep 17, 2013, 3:05 AM★ Spotlighted

Great job, Maggie!

Jack RudySep 17, 2013, 3:05 AM★ Spotlighted

It's almost pizza time! Thanks Maggie!

JIm VallelySep 17, 2013, 3:05 AM★ Spotlighted

Great TAWK!

Rick RosnerSep 17, 2013, 3:05 AM

Thanks J&M

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 3:06 AM

Rebecca Westbrook TokerSep 17, 2013, 3:06 AM

Thanks, All!

Chris PearsonSep 17, 2013, 3:06 AM

Night!

Sheri Rosenberg KeltonSep 17, 2013, 3:07 AM

Great tawk, Maggie and Jordan

Rachel McDonnellSep 17, 2013, 3:07 AM

night

Rich HagbergSep 17, 2013, 3:07 AM

night, thanks all!