Jordan Birnbaum

Host

WHO SAID WHAT NOW? (the game of quotations)

May 29, 2013·63 visitors

C. Brian Smith

Cohost

Stage· 648 messages

May 29, 2013

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:00 AM

Mr. Smith I presume?

C. Brian Smith · 1:00 AM

present

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:01 AM

All right, welcome everyone! This should be fun.

C. Brian Smith · 1:01 AM

a lot of things should be fun

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:01 AM

As you may have gathered, C. Brian and I have concocted a little game for you.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:01 AM

It is all about great but unknown quotations.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:02 AM

Bri and I each picked 4 categories

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:02 AM

and you can start anytime now Mr. wearing mittens so can't type...

C. Brian Smith · 1:02 AM

the categories are as follows

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:02 AM

and the idea was to each find a great quote in that topic

C. Brian Smith · 1:03 AM

1. agen2. failuren3. historyn4. happiness

C. Brian Smith · 1:03 AM

5. NAME THAT QUOTER

C. Brian Smith · 1:03 AM

governmentn7. timen8. friendshipn9. author 2

C. Brian Smith · 1:03 AM

10 NAME THAT QUOTER (again!)

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:03 AM

For each quote we choose, C. Brian and I will remove a key word or words

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Age and failure - how encouraging.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:04 AM

and provide 4 multiple choice answers

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:04 AM

the other has to guess the correct word

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“i think i might fill my quota tonight”

C. Brian Smith · 1:05 AM

rounds 1-5 are worth one point, 6-10 are worth two points

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“can we phone a friend?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:05 AM

no phoniung friends, and on the honor code, NO CHECKING GOOGLE!

C. Brian Smith · 1:05 AM

everyone go here and CRANK it

C. Brian Smith · 1:05 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Ot7X1uUrI

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:06 AM

OK last bit - the loser is going to donate $50 to the winner's charity of choice

C. Brian Smith · 1:06 AM

we're still working on a theme song, Dick let us borrow his for tonight

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:06 AM

First ever Tawk soundtrack -I like it!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:06 AM

so when I win this thing, C. Brian will donate $50 to www.humanesociety.org

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:07 AM

Cause animals are way better than people

C. Brian Smith · 1:07 AM

I'm scared to make any jokes

C. Brian Smith · 1:07 AM

lest I be pegged Vickian

C. Brian Smith · 1:07 AM

(Michael)

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:08 AM

your charity, even tho it has no chance?

C. Brian Smith · 1:08 AM

I'll be playing for the John Dau foundation

C. Brian Smith · 1:08 AM

Fulfilling the dream of the former Lost Boy and genocide survivor John Dau to provide healthcare in the war-torn region of South Sudan by building and sustaining medical clinics and training community healthcare workers.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:08 AM

All right, ring the bell to start round 1

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:09 AM

worthwhile charity indeed, btw

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

Ding.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:09 AM

OK -the category is AGE. Bri - good luck.

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

The first round is AGE

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:09 AM

“What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of ____________________.” – Voltaire

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

a) interest

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

b) energy

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

c) unrealistic expectation

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

d) libido

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“hair”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“bodily fluids”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:11 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“bladder control”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:11 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“all of those mean the same thing to me...”

C. Brian Smith · 1:11 AM

Oh we forgot to mention this round is sponsored by Cialis

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

all right bri - the crowd is getting antsy

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

care to share your thinking, or ready to answer?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“loss of ..um....dam i've forgotten”

C. Brian Smith · 1:13 AM

well, I am going to eliminate D because that's a little on the nose

C. Brian Smith · 1:13 AM

or erection

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:13 AM

I may have made this a little unfairly difficult upon reflection

C. Brian Smith · 1:13 AM

answer: B) Energy

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:13 AM

argh - you are correct sir.

C. Brian Smith · 1:14 AM

boom goes the

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:14 AM

all right -1-0, you're up. hit me.

C. Brian Smith · 1:14 AM

At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty, the ______; and at forty, the ______.n-Benjamin Franklin

C. Brian Smith · 1:15 AM

a) Wit, Judgment.

C. Brian Smith · 1:15 AM

b) Libido, Regret

C. Brian Smith · 1:15 AM

c) Bravado, Composure

C. Brian Smith · 1:15 AM

d) Ambition, Peace

C. Brian Smith · 1:15 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I assume Brian will get them all right b/c he's one of those humans I believe knows WAY more than I ever will.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:15 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“theres that libido again.....”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:16 AM

OK - I'm straight cutting out libido because Franklin was having threways in Paris well into his 70s

C. Brian Smith · 1:17 AM

when he wasn't minding the gout

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:17 AM

I'm going with A - wit and judgment

C. Brian Smith · 1:17 AM

CORRECT

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:17 AM

SWEET!

C. Brian Smith · 1:18 AM

to even the score

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:18 AM

OK - we're moving onto failure! first time I've ever been happy to say that!

C. Brian Smith · 1:18 AM

a reminder to the audience: yes, everyone has the internet and can find the right answer

C. Brian Smith · 1:18 AM

please don't be a dickhead

C. Brian Smith · 1:19 AM

i'm looking at you, Carlin

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:19 AM

I hust assumke it's Price Is Right rules -audience participation is encouraged

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:19 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Disheartened to learn Voltaire was such a cynic and Franklin such a boor? Try CIALIS. (sponsored)”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:19 AM

Ready, Bri - here's #2

C. Brian Smith · 1:19 AM

Nice, Gary

C. Brian Smith · 1:19 AM

hit me

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:19 AM

“A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to ________________________ and _____________________.” – John Burroughs

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

a) blame somebody else; stops trying

C. Brian Smith · 1:20 AM

masturbate and cry?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

b) bitch, moan

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

c) lie, cheat

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

d) get bored, daydream

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“sag and wilt?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“rot and starve”

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

well

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

i bitch and moan regularly

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

me too - I hope that isn't it

C. Brian Smith · 1:22 AM

and i don't think i'm a failure, yet

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“watch The Kardashians and FOX News.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Crying while masturbating is NOT failure! (runs out of room sobbing)”

C. Brian Smith · 1:22 AM

C) Lie, cheat

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“Botox and lipo”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

NO, so sorry, it's A

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

blame somebody else, stops trying

C. Brian Smith · 1:23 AM

don't say sorry to me you smug little turd

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“become flaccid and take Cialis”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

It was an ironic kind of sorry

C. Brian Smith · 1:23 AM

round 3. HISTORY

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

Ugh, excuse me

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

aren't you forgetting something?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

my failure quote?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:24 AM

what a failure you are.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:24 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“Nothing better than an ironic apology.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:24 AM

oof. sorry

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:24 AM

just don't want me to get the point

C. Brian Smith · 1:24 AM

so what's the score?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:24 AM

1-1, bottom of the 2nd

C. Brian Smith · 1:25 AM

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:25 AM

hit me

C. Brian Smith · 1:25 AM

There is no failure except in ______.n-Elbert Hubbard

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:26 AM

Jordan's case

C. Brian Smith · 1:26 AM

a) jousting

C. Brian Smith · 1:26 AM

b) no longer trying

C. Brian Smith · 1:26 AM

c) Germany

C. Brian Smith · 1:26 AM

d) The pursuit of wealth.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:26 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“wood work?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:26 AM

All right -because I made my questions way harder

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“When your telescope lens has the wrong arc on it and it's in space?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“France”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“Pudding.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

and my answers way less obvious

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

in the interest of fairness

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

and humor

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

I choose c) Germany

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“congress”

C. Brian Smith · 1:28 AM

Well, failure was definitely frowned upon in Germany

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

the correct answer is?

C. Brian Smith · 1:28 AM

the correct answer is b) no longer trying

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“Is this guy related to L. Ron Hubbard? I'd say then empty soup cans.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“A Tony Robbins seminar.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:28 AM

nice, Mark

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

OK - we head into Rd 3 - HISTORY - with the score tied 1-1

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“change my answer to the Kardashinas”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

Here you go, Bri

C. Brian Smith · 1:29 AM

Note that after round 5 the points are doubled

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

“History will be ___________ to me for I intend to _____________ it.” – Winston Churchill

C. Brian Smith · 1:29 AM

delicious, eat?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

a) cruel, disregard

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

b) kind, write

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

c) fair, compel

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

d) consult, re-enact

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I want my name to start with an initial too. K. Marie Carlin.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from Michael Hauptman

“a blur, drink through”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“dead,burn”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“Dead / shoot it in the fucking head.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:31 AM

boy, old Winny was wuite a quoter

C. Brian Smith · 1:31 AM

Michael: aces

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

Yes - hauptman's response was an a+

C. Brian Smith · 1:32 AM

I'll choose B) kind, write

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

You, sir, are.....

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

CORRECT!!!! WOO-HOO

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“screwed, be buried by it”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“Baby momma to me. / Make sweet sweet love to”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

I like that quote because it spoeaks to the authenticity of history

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“NNNOOOO!!”

C. Brian Smith · 1:33 AM

in the same tone, I'd like to offer the following from the Dowager Countess

C. Brian Smith · 1:33 AM

"What is a weekend?"

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Every kiss begins with K Marie. (sponsored)”

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

OK, ready J?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:34 AM

To answer your question, Bri - Saturday and Sunday combined

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:34 AM

yes, I'm ready.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:34 AM

you're up 2-1

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

History, in general, only informs us of _____.n-Thomas Jefferson

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

a) who had the best army

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

b) the fact that we’re all going to die

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

c) what bad government is

C. Brian Smith · 1:35 AM

d) how awesome white men are

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:35 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“Cool shit white people do.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:35 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“Nothing like watching two educated, white men in a quote pissing contest. Well, this may be like that.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:35 AM

★ Spotlighted from Michael Hauptman

“people are fucking morons”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:36 AM

I like that this category has emerged with a theme.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:36 AM

I'll go with A - the best army

C. Brian Smith · 1:36 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

just heard The Price Is Right loser's horn!!!

C. Brian Smith · 1:37 AM

the correct answer was C) History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

that's awful!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

I suggest you all hit the you tube link to experience what I did

C. Brian Smith · 1:37 AM

hear that, TJ?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I'm going to have to integrate that Price is Right sound effect into my ringtone oeuvre.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“[SFX: buzzer]What is a Vampire Weekend?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“who was more endowed”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:38 AM

All right, after 3 rounds the score is 2-1, you're in the lead. Now for my favorite category - pick the Quoter

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“A Chinese woman losing her head in an elevator?”

C. Brian Smith · 1:39 AM

oh god i love this almost as much as "Pick the Quoter" double the points

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:39 AM

The audience is making me pee my pants

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:39 AM

K - Bri - here we go

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:39 AM

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:40 AM

Was it, a) Mort Sahl?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:40 AM

b) Oscar Wilde?

C. Brian Smith · 1:40 AM

ok i know him

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:40 AM

c) Oscar The Grouch?

C. Brian Smith · 1:40 AM

lives in a trash can

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:40 AM

d) William Blake

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“George W bush?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“Hitler”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“Dennis Rodman”

C. Brian Smith · 1:41 AM

same thing

C. Brian Smith · 1:41 AM

ZING

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

You should get a bonus point for that

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“You mean Richard Alpert . . .”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“mitt romney”

C. Brian Smith · 1:42 AM

I'll go with B) Oscar Wilde

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

uh oh

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

you're right again.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

★ Spotlighted from Michael Hauptman

“Nobody with testosterone ever”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“I'm going with Jim J. Bullock to block.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

score is 3-1. I have to catch up

C. Brian Smith · 1:43 AM

didn't seem like something Mort would get into

C. Brian Smith · 1:44 AM

You're on fire, Shapiro

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:44 AM

Fondle shapiro's ego some other time. hit me with my next question

C. Brian Smith · 1:44 AM

where was this during "A Pretty Good Show"

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“Gary - I shot liquid out of my nose....Ned thanks you.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

Okay, who said this:

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

"What's a soup kitchen?"

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:45 AM

marie antoinette

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

a) George W. Bush

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

b) Paris Hilton

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

c) Jessica Simpson

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

d) Ivana Trump

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:46 AM

I mean, I feel like there should be an ALL OF THE ABOVE on this one

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:46 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“Every Republican in congress”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:46 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“Oh, this is a hard one.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:46 AM

e) cast of RENT

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:46 AM

I need audience help - just don't cheat, and I can listen to you

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

I'm leaning towards Bush, because I can't imagine anyone noticing anything those others said

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“What? No, Pia Zadora?”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

certainly not writing them down

C. Brian Smith · 1:47 AM

yeah no one listens to celebrities

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

yeah but not for pithy quotes

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“we all know bush is a soup junkie”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“It's the journey, Jordan, not the reward.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I think one of the younger girls. Or Geo or Ivana.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

I'm going A - the president who spells "w" with a "d"

C. Brian Smith · 1:48 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

O no!

C. Brian Smith · 1:49 AM

b) Paris Hilton

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:49 AM

This is turning into a rout

C. Brian Smith · 1:49 AM

well luckily for you, the final rounds are worth double

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:49 AM

Thank goodness for double points

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

OK - Rd 5 - Happiness

C. Brian Smith · 1:50 AM

that's what Alec Baldwin says in the new Capital One commercial

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“see jordan,ya shoulda listened to me!!!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“When you need comforting, grab your unit.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

Score is 3-1. Ready Bri? Here we go.

C. Brian Smith · 1:51 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKKjqzkGo3o

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man be willing to be ____________________.” –Desiderius Erasmus

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

Please make sure you listen to Brian's soundtrack, btw

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

it adds to the experience!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:52 AM

a) whatever his wife demands

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:52 AM

b) what he is

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:52 AM

c) what he wants to be

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:52 AM

d) humble

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“have back,sack and crack wax”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“drop acid.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“be a sperm donor”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Repeat after me: Yes, my love.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:54 AM

okay, I don't know this person

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:54 AM

he's old

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:54 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“well A is a given...so its gotta be C”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:54 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I believe "a" was said by Henny Youngman”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:54 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Nipple rings? Get the car battery.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:55 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Desiderius Erasmus was the biggest size queen in Rotterdam. Everyone knows that. Jesus.”

C. Brian Smith · 1:55 AM

I mean, I don't think you'd choose a wife quote

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:55 AM

isn't that racial profiling? Is single a race?

C. Brian Smith · 1:55 AM

D) Humble

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:56 AM

Play the loser sound for yourself

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:56 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“remind me never to pass out drunk around you guys”

C. Brian Smith · 1:56 AM

i won't

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:56 AM

The answer is B - what he is.

C. Brian Smith · 1:56 AM

what it is, bro

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:57 AM

which is excellent advice, people! Of course, I wouldn't know a thing about happiness, so don't listen to me.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:57 AM

so I can catch up here - sweet.

C. Brian Smith · 1:57 AM

I mean we're playing an online gameshow on a Tuesday night

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:57 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Erasmus? They just met us.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

So is that a happiness quote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“I saw you happy one day, Jordan!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

stop lying, Rosner

C. Brian Smith · 1:58 AM

back to Cialis

C. Brian Smith · 1:58 AM

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and _____ are in harmony.n-Mahatma Gandhi

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“laundry night”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:59 AM

The cast of Glee

C. Brian Smith · 1:59 AM

a) who you love

C. Brian Smith · 1:59 AM

b) what you love

C. Brian Smith · 1:59 AM

c) what you do

C. Brian Smith · 1:59 AM

d) how much time you have

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:59 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I love that no matter what, it circles around to a dick joke in the end.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:59 AM

★ Spotlighted from Michael Hauptman

“what your wife says”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:59 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“where you fluff”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

I'm going to say I identify a certain "active" theme

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“c'mon Jordan, you got this one!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

and with the support of kelly

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

i'm going to pause to acknowledge this:

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“If you experience an erasmus longer than four hours, ask your doctor if Tawkers is right for you.”

C. Brian Smith · 2:01 AM

will buy you a trip on the santa monica pier merry-go-round

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:01 AM

And I'm going to answer C - what you do

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

I've got a good feeling on this one

C. Brian Smith · 2:02 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHTLIi3erIg

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

WOO HOO!

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

that's actually just the air rade alarm at CBS television city

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:03 AM

SO BRI - WE'RE AT THE EXACT HALFWAY POINT AND IT HAS BEENH AN HOUR

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

but yes, you're correct

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

I don't know how much more the audience can take

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“Make a Desiderius already”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from B.Mark Seabrooks

“Frozen”

C. Brian Smith · 2:04 AM

shall we pick it up tomorrow, same time?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

yes - same time tomorrow, the score is 3-2

C. Brian Smith · 2:04 AM

love it

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

But I have an aditional announcement to make

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

Very exciting stuff for Tawkers.

C. Brian Smith · 2:05 AM

gary shapiro, I'd like to donate $20 to the charity of your choice for making me laugh like I haven't in a good long time

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:05 AM

Tomorrow night at 10pm ET, Comedians Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarlane are doing a Tawk!

C. Brian Smith · 2:06 AM

awesome

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

So we can go straight from our conclusion into their Tawk, which I think is going to be HILARIOUS

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“If you've trouble getting an Erasmus, check out the little blue pill”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“what do we do till then?”

C. Brian Smith · 2:06 AM

nothing like the gameshow opener

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Time has no meaning, or something”

C. Brian Smith · 2:07 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“love you Bri”

C. Brian Smith · 2:07 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“That is so sweet Bri. xo”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:07 AM

I THINK EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE CAN MAKE IT AS A WRITER! ESPECIALLY IF WE DOI IT TOGETHER!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:07 AM

★ Spotlighted from Gary Shapiro

“Yay Rich and Bonnie! they're hilare”

C. Brian Smith · 2:07 AM

don't think the WGA will be cool with that, but okay!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

LOL - GREAT WAY TO CLOSE OUT.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

I HOPE WE SEE EVERYONE TOMORROW FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION!

C. Brian Smith · 2:08 AM

goodnight everyone

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. I KNOW I'M A LITTLE PATHETIC.

C. Brian Smith · 2:08 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFj2hxi5kNY

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“G'night Jordan and Brian. Love you long time.”

C. Brian Smith · 2:11 AM

who's on the show this week Kelly?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Kelly Carlin

“I can't make it. So I'll look for results on Twitter.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Seth Hochman

“This is like a good Super Bowl, minus the commercials, dancing girls, and wardrobe malfunctions”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Great Tawk, guys.”

C. Brian Smith · 2:13 AM

that's what she said

C. Brian Smith · 12:50 AM

Are we on?

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:57 AM

30 seconds

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:57 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Let's start out happy! Imagine yourself in a place where the air is clear, drugs never hurt you, issues are clear cut, a Ford GT40 cost $6500 and sex is free, joyful and frequent - and the worst you could get was crabs. Back to 1967!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:57 AM

5,4,3,2,1

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:58 AM

This is what's known in the business as "same bat time, same bat channel."

C. Brian Smith · 12:58 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGwiIYn-vu0

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:58 AM

I hope everyone has begun to play their music from the you tube link

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:59 AM

what, are you playing cat's cradle as you type?

Jordan Birnbaum · 12:59 AM

OK, a few notes

C. Brian Smith · 12:59 AM

I'm channeling my Charles Nelson Reilly

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:00 AM

If you happen to be reading this after-the-fact (it's not happening live for you), you should know we have all been away for 24 hours

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:00 AM

and we just reconvened to play the second half of Who Said What Now?

C. Brian Smith · 1:01 AM

How were yours?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:01 AM

pretty busy, actually. and none of it spent researching quotes, either.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:01 AM

yours?

C. Brian Smith · 1:01 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“I've stayed by the computer for 24 hours in anticipation.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:01 AM

★ Spotlighted from Blake Ian

“http://scenteddemented.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/charles.jpg”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:02 AM

Bird doodie! (If that doesn't make sense, you didn't click the link above)

C. Brian Smith · 1:02 AM

I fed some goats.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:02 AM

I thought you were a sheppard

C. Brian Smith · 1:02 AM

Not a euphemism.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:03 AM

what might it be a euphemism for?

C. Brian Smith · 1:03 AM

shredding your tax returns?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:04 AM

nice. OK, a few reminders

C. Brian Smith · 1:04 AM

So we're halfway through our game

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:04 AM

the loser of this game will pay the winner's charity of choice $50. I'm playing for humanesociety.org because I prefer animals to people.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:05 AM

Bri is playing for....

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:05 AM

(that's your cue dude)

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:05 AM

what are you, drunk?

C. Brian Smith · 1:05 AM

not for 8 months now, actualy

C. Brian Smith · 1:05 AM

I'm playing for nhttp://www.johndaufoundation.org/#!form__map/c24vq

C. Brian Smith · 1:06 AM

http://www.johndaufoundation.org/#!form__map/c24vq

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:06 AM

I will also remind you that somehow, C. Bri is up 3-2. BUT, the poionts are doubled now that we're in the bonus rounds!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:06 AM

so Bri - tell our friends what topics we're covering tonight

C. Brian Smith · 1:07 AM

And who are you losing for, Birnbaum?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:07 AM

www.humanesociety.org

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:07 AM

So our topics tonight are............

C. Brian Smith · 1:07 AM

the topics tonight will be as follows:

C. Brian Smith · 1:08 AM

6. governmentn7. timen8. friendshipn9. religionn10. NAME THE AUTHOR

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:08 AM

would you care to start tonight, or shall I yet again?

C. Brian Smith · 1:08 AM

you lost the coin toss, so I'll start

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:08 AM

there was a coin toss?

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to ______. n-William F. Buckley, Jr.

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

a) Anyone who voted for Senator McCarthy.

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

b) the faculty of Harvard university

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

c) a Kennedy

C. Brian Smith · 1:09 AM

d) Gore Vidal

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

So what do we know? William F. Buckley is a dick.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Ted Bundy.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“e) drag queens”

C. Brian Smith · 1:10 AM

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPG_VDGwj6k

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:10 AM

dicks prefer the uneducated, and the Boston connection makes Harvard very appealling

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:11 AM

But he must have HATED Kennedy

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:11 AM

I'm going with B!

C. Brian Smith · 1:11 AM

i wish the uneducated preferred dicks

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:11 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachael Workman

“http://gawker.com/5057427/william-f-buckley-asshole-even-in-death”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

So I choose Harvard faculty

C. Brian Smith · 1:12 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLT2erau3zo

C. Brian Smith · 1:12 AM

correct

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

WOO HOO!!!!!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

I tied it up!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“ixnay on the dicksnay stuff”

C. Brian Smith · 1:13 AM

settle down, act like you been there

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:13 AM

Oh my god, I've TOTALLY been there before. With this girl from Canada...

C. Brian Smith · 1:13 AM

he was such a Yale man

C. Brian Smith · 1:14 AM

hit me

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:14 AM

Buckley liked Yale. BTW, everyon, C. Brian is a Yale graduate. Smart little fucker.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:14 AM

“The worst thing in this world, next to _______________, is government.” –Henry Ward Beecher

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:14 AM

is it a) family

C. Brian Smith · 1:14 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Jordan, you pervert!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:14 AM

b) anarchy

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:15 AM

c) religion

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:15 AM

d) corporate interest

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:15 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“a clown”

C. Brian Smith · 1:16 AM

since apparently sharting isn't available...

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:17 AM

sharting is pretty bad

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:17 AM

especially at the theater

C. Brian Smith · 1:17 AM

well, i'm going against what I believe on this

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:18 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“That's it,Brian, lower the tone of the discourse!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:18 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“attack of the sharting clowns”

C. Brian Smith · 1:18 AM

and what dick I would be if I said family

C. Brian Smith · 1:18 AM

let's go with B Anarchy

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:19 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLT2erau3zo

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:19 AM

congratulations - you are correct.

C. Brian Smith · 1:19 AM

I'm tawking down to everyone, Rick.

C. Brian Smith · 1:19 AM

great quote

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

And btw - the subtle point being made in that quote needs to be distributed through the political right

C. Brian Smith · 1:20 AM

The next category is Time

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Again with the dick!”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:20 AM

Isn't that your nickname?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:21 AM

oh yeah - you're up 5-4

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and ______n-Michael LeBoeuf

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

a) you’ve lost a part of your life.

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

b) You’ve introduced yourself to the devil.

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

c) You’ve squandered your most valuable possession

C. Brian Smith · 1:21 AM

d) You’re heart will be next.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

First of all, is this Shia's father?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:22 AM

because that would be good to know.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

a) is technically correct, b) not so much, c) makes a lot of sense, d) whatever

C. Brian Smith · 1:23 AM

sure let's go with that

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

I'm going to select C

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Hea's not Shia.”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:24 AM

the anticipation of the music is KILLING me

C. Brian Smith · 1:24 AM

Low bar for spotlighting tonight, it seems.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:24 AM

lol

C. Brian Smith · 1:25 AM

The answer was actually A

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:25 AM

doh!

C. Brian Smith · 1:26 AM

Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life.

C. Brian Smith · 1:26 AM

a fitting quote for right this moment, perhaps.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:26 AM

I just happen to know this quote - "Time you enjoy wasting, was not time wasted." -John Lennon

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

so there.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

OK, here you go:

C. Brian Smith · 1:27 AM

Yeah well he was shot.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

OMG - you should play the loser musioc after that joke

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:27 AM

“Time is what ___________________ everything from _________________.” –Albert Einstein

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“"what's a life?" "something we can't afford"”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

sorry - 1 more time

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

“Time is what ___________________ everything from _________________.” –Albert Einstein

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:28 AM

a) differentiates; everything else

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

b) creates; nothing

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

c) prevents; happening at once

C. Brian Smith · 1:29 AM

I think I'm having another stroke.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

d) measures; creation

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:29 AM

try not to

C. Brian Smith · 1:30 AM

and what's the score right now?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“the cpr kit is located behind the monitor”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:30 AM

5-4, you're winning.

C. Brian Smith · 1:31 AM

I'll go with C, prevents everything from happening at once.

C. Brian Smith · 1:31 AM

if thats not right, it's still pretty awesome.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:31 AM

I should have played this with a less educated person

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:31 AM

you are correct!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

so that brings the score to 7-4.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

3 rounds to go

C. Brian Smith · 1:32 AM

maybe if I played with my left hand that would make it more even

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:32 AM

it's OK, man. I have other things going for me.

C. Brian Smith · 1:33 AM

or is that more of a masturbation thing

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:33 AM

(inside voice)

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“I warned you about the dick jokes”

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

on that note, the next category is FRIENDSHIP

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

All ¬_____ are built on friendship.n-Alfred A. Montapert

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

a) pieces of significant legislation

C. Brian Smith · 1:34 AM

b) successful marriages

C. Brian Smith · 1:35 AM

c) great bands

C. Brian Smith · 1:35 AM

d) Lasting businesses

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:35 AM

hmmmm

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:35 AM

I'm gonna throw out legislation and great bands - it's not true in either case

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:36 AM

Unfortunately, I know nothing about successful marriages

C. Brian Smith · 1:36 AM

kris kross?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:36 AM

awwwww. that's sad, no?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:36 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“kidnapped children”

C. Brian Smith · 1:36 AM

The Daddy Mac'll make ya...

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

I'm going with B!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“facebook groups”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Just remember Jordan: "Yes, my love" is the key”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“no Rick,its Yes Dear...get it right!”

C. Brian Smith · 1:38 AM

Great sitcom

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:38 AM

so - are good marriages or good businesses built on friendship?

C. Brian Smith · 1:39 AM

Let's turn to Pinterest for the answer

C. Brian Smith · 1:39 AM

http://pinterest.com/kassiebliss/all-lasting-business-is-built-on-friendship/

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:40 AM

Oh NO!!!!!!!

C. Brian Smith · 1:40 AM

oh. yes.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:40 AM

is that right -lasting biz built on friendship, huh? even tho they say friendship and business doesn't mix?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

bummer.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

So hubbies and wives don't need to like each other, huh?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“marriage is built on sex, silly rabbit”

C. Brian Smith · 1:41 AM

nor do hubbies and hubbies

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:41 AM

I thought marriage was built on a lack of sex

C. Brian Smith · 1:41 AM

there's our new Ben & Jerry flavor

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

yeah! I want some hubbies ice cream!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

OK -here we go

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:42 AM

“When you choose your friends, don’t be shortchanged by choosing _________________ over ____________________.” – W. Somerset Maugham

C. Brian Smith · 1:42 AM

lots of banana

C. Brian Smith · 1:43 AM

dicks/chicks?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

is it a) Fantasy, reality

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

b) good humor, money

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

reliability; spontaneity

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:43 AM

d) personality, character

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“free time over company”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:44 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“weiners,butt size”

C. Brian Smith · 1:44 AM

First of all, I respect any quoter who leads with an initial

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:44 AM

thought you might

C. Brian Smith · 1:45 AM

Somerset sounds like the name of hound of some sort

C. Brian Smith · 1:46 AM

I'll choose C, reliability/spontaneity

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

Sorry - that's the "Joe Blogs" answer - in other words, WRONG

C. Brian Smith · 1:47 AM

again, it's great advice either way

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

IT'S ACTUALLY D

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:47 AM

Don't be shortchanged by choosing personality over character.

C. Brian Smith · 1:48 AM

oh fooey

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

so in our case, you're personality, and I'm character

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“so i gotta choose spngebob over someone who makes me laugh?”

C. Brian Smith · 1:48 AM

character gets too much credit

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:48 AM

please, we don't get nearly enough

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:49 AM

OK -so the game is still in striking distance for me

C. Brian Smith · 1:49 AM

what's the score?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:49 AM

it's 7-4

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:49 AM

we have 2 rounds left

C. Brian Smith · 1:49 AM

and what round are we on?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:49 AM

Religion

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

while I'm waiting for this one

C. Brian Smith · 1:50 AM

this round is sponsored by our friend Bill Maher

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

quick announcement

C. Brian Smith · 1:50 AM

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without ¬¬¬¬____.nBuddha

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:50 AM

The Rich Voss / Bonnie MacFarlane Tawk had to be rescheduled, so it's not happening in 7 minutes

C. Brian Smith · 1:50 AM

a) Breathing

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

K - I'm back to you Bri

C. Brian Smith · 1:51 AM

b) Peace

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

★ Spotlighted from rick mccan

“bondage”

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“dim sum”

C. Brian Smith · 1:51 AM

c) a spiritual life

C. Brian Smith · 1:51 AM

d) suffering

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:51 AM

I was told there'd be no math on this exam...

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:52 AM

I think I'm picking up thread of something very, very hot

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:52 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“BEER!!!”

C. Brian Smith · 1:52 AM

top 10 SNL lines

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:53 AM

Maybe it's the word "fire"

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:53 AM

But fire hurts, so I choose d) suffering. Also, that would help me feel better about my life.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:54 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“that'll be the curry from last night,jordan”

C. Brian Smith · 1:54 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIJYfvN9954

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:54 AM

NO WHAMMIES! STOP!

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:55 AM

ah, well. Not only am I wrong, but my life sucks.

C. Brian Smith · 1:55 AM

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without ¬¬¬¬ a spiritual life.

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:55 AM

I think you may have just clinched it

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:55 AM

But we'll see this thing through to the end.

C. Brian Smith · 1:56 AM

maybe he was wrong about the candle

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:56 AM

“It is in our ____________ and not our ________________ that our religion must be read.” – Thomas Jefferson

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:56 AM

a) churches, public halls

C. Brian Smith · 1:56 AM

(that's what she said)

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:57 AM

b) hearts, minds (very good, Rosner)

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:57 AM

c) past, future

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:57 AM

d) lives, words

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

(Thanks Dickies!)

C. Brian Smith · 1:58 AM

As I recall, the Virginia Gentleman was a fierce separationist

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

you're soooooo sophisticated

C. Brian Smith · 1:58 AM

(and a fine collegiate a cappella singing group)

C. Brian Smith · 1:58 AM

I'll go with A churches/public halls

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:58 AM

that is your specialty

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:59 AM

That was the "Gotcha" answer! In other words, WRONG.

C. Brian Smith · 1:59 AM

Dickies, are you plural?

Jordan Birnbaum · 1:59 AM

"It is in our lives, and not our words, that our religion must be read."

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

so d was correct.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:00 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“only we i'm pissed and i see double”

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:01 AM

("pissed" is British for "drunk as hell")

C. Brian Smith · 2:01 AM

We've reached the final question, and since I and The Lost Boys of Sudan have already won, why don't we play this question for an additional $50 donation to the charity of Dickies' choosing

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

K -Dickies - you have a charity for us?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

while she figures it out, why don't we play the last question for Dickies' charity

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:02 AM

hit me with CHOOSE THE QUOTER!

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

here you go

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:03 AM

lol

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

Charles Bukowski

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:03 AM

like he ever had a job

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

Phyllis Diller

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:03 AM

ditto

C. Brian Smith · 2:03 AM

Woody Allen

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

tritto

C. Brian Smith · 2:04 AM

Charles Grodin

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

I choose the Grod-man.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

★ Spotlighted from Lucy Dyer

“go for Amnesty”

C. Brian Smith · 2:04 AM

Not even a man.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

will do

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:04 AM

was it phyllis?

C. Brian Smith · 2:04 AM

Phyllis

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:05 AM

Let's take a moment to respect her aboslute genius.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:05 AM

To make it as a female comedian in that day and age took A LOT of talent and guts.

C. Brian Smith · 2:06 AM

I had dinnner next to her at Mateo's in Westwood once

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

did she rub off on you at all?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

and what did she order?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

just kidding on both.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

OK - here you go

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:06 AM

I'll wait

C. Brian Smith · 2:07 AM

her hair had a pork chop

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:07 AM

lol

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:07 AM

She has a line, I'm paraphrasing, "Sometimes I only go to the beauty parlor to get an estimate."

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:07 AM

OK here you go

C. Brian Smith · 2:07 AM

so now what?

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

“Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear-end collision.”

C. Brian Smith · 2:08 AM

the television audience is panting

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

Is this hilarious quote from a) Pablo Picasso

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:08 AM

b) Ernest Hemingway

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

c) George Burns

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

d) James Thurber

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

if you get this wrong, we'll each donate $25 to Amnesty. If you get it right, I'm on the hook for all $50.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:09 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rick Rosner

“Burnsey”

C. Brian Smith · 2:10 AM

those are some stakes

C. Brian Smith · 2:10 AM

C) George Burns

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

To quote Flava-Flav, "Yeah, Boiiiiiiiii!"

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

oh no - that was to your other comment

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:10 AM

the answer is actually d, Thurber

C. Brian Smith · 2:11 AM

Well this game finished strong.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:11 AM

Thurber is pretty hilarious - you should all google his quotes

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:11 AM

if by string you mean the opposite, I totally disagree

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:11 AM

strong

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:12 AM

All right - I owe your charity $50 and we each owe Amnesty $25

C. Brian Smith · 2:12 AM

throw in a typo there just cause

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:12 AM

I die a little death with every typo

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:13 AM

All right, my friends!

C. Brian Smith · 2:13 AM

thanks for coming everyone - more games to come.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:13 AM

Something tells me we'll be doing this again, but in 5 rounds instead of 10!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:13 AM

Thanks everyone for coming.

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:14 AM

And C. Bri - you are most definitely the man.

C. Brian Smith · 2:14 AM

play us out, Peter Tomarken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFj2hxi5kNY

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:15 AM

Coming Soon - WHO SAID WHAT NOW? - the t-shirt! (not really)

C. Brian Smith · 2:16 AM

Who, incidentally, died in a horrible plane crash off Venice Beach while piloting his plane flying needy sick kids to get medical treatment in Northern California

C. Brian Smith · 2:16 AM

on that note!

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:16 AM

I love happy endings

Jordan Birnbaum · 2:16 AM

Roberto Clemente wasn't already bad enough, God?!

C. Brian Smith · 2:18 AM

gnite, rockstars

Forum · 326

Forum· 326 comments

63 visitors

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Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 12:55 AM

Professor Higgins has arrived.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 12:57 AM

thank you Rick

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 12:57 AM

DB: Why can;t the English teach their children how to speak? This verbal class distinction by now should be antique!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 12:57 AM

why cant the american teach their kids,full stop? :-)

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 12:58 AM

Too much midwest, not enough coast.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 12:58 AM

as least we Brits speak the queens english unlike you lot

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 12:59 AM

Pretty soon she'll be senile - then what?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 12:59 AM

well it'll be like how your congrees is right now,i guess

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:00 AM

Touche (ay)

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:00 AM

are we live? is thing on?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:00 AM

present? for who?

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:01 AM

No, Klingon

Blake IanMay 29, 2013, 1:01 AM

Im curious about this experiment in Tawking

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:01 AM

i'm always klinging on,mrick

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:03 AM★ Spotlighted

Age and failure - how encouraging.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:04 AM★ Spotlighted

i think i might fill my quota tonight

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:04 AM

i'm confused

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:04 AM★ Spotlighted

can we phone a friend?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:06 AM

cant believe i've just been told to get cranky!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:06 AM

*gets out her flares,kipper tie and swings it around the room like a mad woman*.....oh yeah groovy baby!

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:07 AM

You betya!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:07 AM

i'm an animal!! meow

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:07 AM

i was worried we would be could be losers in the mosh pits

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:07 AM

Hey Boys and Gal.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:07 AM

hey Kelly!!

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:08 AM

Like - no sheep is safe tonight?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:08 AM

we shall leave sheep to you,rick

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:08 AM

Hello Kelly

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:08 AM

Let the games begin

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:08 AM

Love that wool!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:09 AM

ding....DONG!!

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:09 AM

Hi Rick.

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:10 AM★ Spotlighted

hair

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:10 AM★ Spotlighted

bodily fluids

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:10 AM★ Spotlighted

bladder control

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:10 AM

or e) all of the above....

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:11 AM★ Spotlighted

all of those mean the same thing to me...

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:12 AM

It's got to be C cuz it has the most syllables.

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:12 AM

Guess Viagra couldn't pony up the big bucks

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:12 AM★ Spotlighted

loss of ..um....dam i've forgotten

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:12 AM

i'm going for B

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:12 AM

his thinking went right to erectile dysfunction

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:12 AM

Good crowd tonight!

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:13 AM

Well, of course it did...this is Bri after all. ;-)

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:13 AM

Straight to the profane - just the way I like it!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:13 AM

YES!!! woohoo!!

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:14 AM

Regularity.

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:14 AM

Holy shit this is my grandfathers tawk.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:14 AM★ Spotlighted

I assume Brian will get them all right b/c he's one of those humans I believe knows WAY more than I ever will.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:15 AM★ Spotlighted

theres that libido again.....

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:15 AM

WEll, we know it's not B cuz BF never regretted his libido... ;-)

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:16 AM

Cialis definitely did sponsor this

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:16 AM

I've found that is - for some reason - the last thing to go.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:16 AM

Go Kings! (sorry watching hockey also)

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:16 AM

its A

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:17 AM

the gout was what made it sexy

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:17 AM

Hop to it!

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:17 AM

I agree Dickies..

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:17 AM

2 in a row!! go me!!

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:18 AM

Not that Jordan is a slacker in that dept.

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:18 AM★ Spotlighted

Disheartened to learn Voltaire was such a cynic and Franklin such a boor? Try CIALIS. (sponsored)

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:19 AM

It's also fun to kibitz!

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:19 AM

No dickheads!

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:20 AM★ Spotlighted

rot and starve

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:20 AM★ Spotlighted

sag and wilt?

Rachael WorkmanMay 29, 2013, 1:20 AM

bend and snap

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:20 AM

nice on Bri.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:20 AM

I scream my name.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM

i really wanna say B....

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM

but i think its C

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM★ Spotlighted

watch The Kardashians and FOX News.

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM★ Spotlighted

Botox and lipo

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM★ Spotlighted

Crying while masturbating is NOT failure! (runs out of room sobbing)

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:21 AM★ Spotlighted

become flaccid and take Cialis

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:22 AM

I don''t cry - I put down the cat o' 9 tails.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:23 AM

yeah well i blame you Jordan

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:23 AM★ Spotlighted

Nothing better than an ironic apology.

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:23 AM

Kelly any relation to George?

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:23 AM

Seth: "Too late, she cried!"

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM★ Spotlighted

wood work?

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM★ Spotlighted

France

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM★ Spotlighted

When your telescope lens has the wrong arc on it and it's in space?

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM

bbbbbb

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM★ Spotlighted

Pudding.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM

wonky lens,kelly?

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:26 AM★ Spotlighted

congress

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:27 AM

Oh, that's Hubble. Sorry.

Blake IanMay 29, 2013, 1:27 AM

This is like Tawkers on METH!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:27 AM

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:27 AM★ Spotlighted

Is this guy related to L. Ron Hubbard? I'd say then empty soup cans.

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:28 AM★ Spotlighted

A Tony Robbins seminar.

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:28 AM★ Spotlighted

change my answer to the Kardashinas

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:28 AM

YES YES oh god YES!!!

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:29 AM

Some people are so easily pleased.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:29 AM

kind and write

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:29 AM★ Spotlighted

I want my name to start with an initial too. K. Marie Carlin.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:30 AM★ Spotlighted

dead,burn

Michael HauptmanMay 29, 2013, 1:30 AM★ Spotlighted

a blur, drink through

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:30 AM★ Spotlighted

Dead / shoot it in the fucking head.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:30 AM

meaningless ; fuck

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:30 AM

oh well its A obviously

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:31 AM

Oh, wait. Just spotted the "it"

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:31 AM★ Spotlighted

screwed, be buried by it

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:32 AM★ Spotlighted

Baby momma to me. / Make sweet sweet love to

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:32 AM

What are the prizes for all this hard work? I will not pay 50% in taxes for my winnings...just saying

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:32 AM★ Spotlighted

NNNOOOO!!

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:33 AM★ Spotlighted

Every kiss begins with K Marie. (sponsored)

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:33 AM

a dirty phrase left over from friday?

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:34 AM★ Spotlighted

Nothing like watching two educated, white men in a quote pissing contest. Well, this may be like that.

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:34 AM★ Spotlighted

Cool shit white people do.

Michael HauptmanMay 29, 2013, 1:35 AM★ Spotlighted

people are fucking morons

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:35 AM

when to change our under wear

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:35 AM

Bri....lol

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:35 AM

aaaaaaaaaaa

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:36 AM

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:36 AM★ Spotlighted

[SFX: buzzer]What is a Vampire Weekend?

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:37 AM★ Spotlighted

who was more endowed

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:37 AM★ Spotlighted

I'm going to have to integrate that Price is Right sound effect into my ringtone oeuvre.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:37 AM

*does a cartwheel* woohoo!!

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:38 AM★ Spotlighted

A Chinese woman losing her head in an elevator?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:38 AM

NEXT!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:39 AM

get the towels and man sized nappies!!!

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:39 AM

JB, try a clothes pin.

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:40 AM★ Spotlighted

Hitler

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:40 AM★ Spotlighted

George W bush?

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:40 AM

Ram Dass?

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:40 AM★ Spotlighted

Dennis Rodman

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:41 AM★ Spotlighted

You mean Richard Alpert . . .

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:41 AM

Mort's too bitter for that quote...KIDDING!

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:41 AM★ Spotlighted

mitt romney

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:42 AM

Kim kardashian

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:42 AM

Michael HauptmanMay 29, 2013, 1:42 AM★ Spotlighted

Nobody with testosterone ever

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:43 AM★ Spotlighted

I'm going with Jim J. Bullock to block.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:43 AM

Good thing i didn't make my ignorance known.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:43 AM★ Spotlighted

Gary - I shot liquid out of my nose....Ned thanks you.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:44 AM

Jordan! Jordan! Jordan!

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:45 AM

Mitt Romney

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:45 AM

where kim kardashian works?

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:45 AM★ Spotlighted

Oh, this is a hard one.

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:45 AM★ Spotlighted

Every Republican in congress

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:46 AM★ Spotlighted

What? No, Pia Zadora?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:46 AM

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:47 AM

its BBBBBBBB dam it!!...or it could be A

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:47 AM★ Spotlighted

I think one of the younger girls. Or Geo or Ivana.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:47 AM★ Spotlighted

It's the journey, Jordan, not the reward.

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:47 AM★ Spotlighted

we all know bush is a soup junkie

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:47 AM

Rand paul

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:48 AM

Paris Trump

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:48 AM

Was this quote something said on Letterman?

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM

prolly Paris

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM

Waa Waa WAaaaaaaaa

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM★ Spotlighted

see jordan,ya shoulda listened to me!!!

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM

Paul Ryan

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM

I hear a lot of dogs barking angrily at the humane society

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM

and coffee

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:49 AM★ Spotlighted

When you need comforting, grab your unit.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:50 AM

That was for JB.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:50 AM

Yay! Happiness!

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:50 AM

It's breakfast time.

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:50 AM

Rick I think that quote was from Pee Wee Herman

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:50 AM

I thought it was mine, but don;t mind being in such august company.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:51 AM

How does Alec live with himself shilling for a credit card company, I often wonder?

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:51 AM

asleep

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:51 AM★ Spotlighted

drop acid.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:52 AM

Bri has sound effects and sound tracks. I like this.

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:52 AM★ Spotlighted

have back,sack and crack wax

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:52 AM★ Spotlighted

be a sperm donor

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:52 AM★ Spotlighted

Repeat after me: Yes, my love.

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 1:53 AM

Journey said it?

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:53 AM★ Spotlighted

well A is a given...so its gotta be C

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:53 AM★ Spotlighted

I believe "a" was said by Henny Youngman

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:53 AM

Bint, that's the same happy the causes nipple rings

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:54 AM★ Spotlighted

Nipple rings? Get the car battery.

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:54 AM

Rick you sound like you're talking from experience

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:54 AM★ Spotlighted

Desiderius Erasmus was the biggest size queen in Rotterdam. Everyone knows that. Jesus.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:55 AM

I've done it all, Seth.

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:55 AM★ Spotlighted

remind me never to pass out drunk around you guys

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:55 AM

As they used to say in the military, "Don't ask, Don't tell!"

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:56 AM

All, except the cobra and tongue hting.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:56 AM

thing

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 1:57 AM★ Spotlighted

Erasmus? They just met us.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:57 AM★ Spotlighted

I saw you happy one day, Jordan!

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:57 AM

happiness was created by hallmark

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:57 AM★ Spotlighted

laundry night

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 1:58 AM

Desiderius Erasmus must have gotten a lot of teasing in school with a name like that

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:58 AM

turn that frown upside down JB :-)

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 1:58 AM

Of course, it was in 2000.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:59 AM★ Spotlighted

I love that no matter what, it circles around to a dick joke in the end.

Michael HauptmanMay 29, 2013, 1:59 AM★ Spotlighted

what your wife says

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 1:59 AM★ Spotlighted

where you fluff

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 1:59 AM

alvin and the chipmonks

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 1:59 AM★ Spotlighted

c'mon Jordan, you got this one!

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 2:00 AM★ Spotlighted

If you experience an erasmus longer than four hours, ask your doctor if Tawkers is right for you.

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 2:00 AM

If mine lasts more than 4 hours I'll alert the Press.

B.Mark SeabrooksMay 29, 2013, 2:02 AM★ Spotlighted

Frozen

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 2:02 AM

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 2:02 AM★ Spotlighted

Make a Desiderius already

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 2:03 AM

also my alarm clock

Lucy DyerMay 29, 2013, 2:03 AM

ooo thats the sound of my next client coming in

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 2:04 AM★ Spotlighted

If you've trouble getting an Erasmus, check out the little blue pill

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 2:04 AM★ Spotlighted

Time has no meaning, or something

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 2:04 AM★ Spotlighted

what do we do till then?

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 2:06 AM★ Spotlighted

love you Bri

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 2:06 AM★ Spotlighted

That is so sweet Bri. xo

Gary ShapiroMay 29, 2013, 2:06 AM★ Spotlighted

Yay Rich and Bonnie! they're hilare

Michael HauptmanMay 29, 2013, 2:06 AM

wow thats awesome! can't wait for that!

Rick RosnerMay 29, 2013, 2:06 AM★ Spotlighted

Great Tawk, guys.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 2:07 AM

I'll take all the prepositions and contractions!

Seth HochmanMay 29, 2013, 2:08 AM★ Spotlighted

This is like a good Super Bowl, minus the commercials, dancing girls, and wardrobe malfunctions

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 2:08 AM

there was hope and it was destroyed

rick mccanMay 29, 2013, 2:08 AM

g'night

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 2:08 AM★ Spotlighted

I can't make it. So I'll look for results on Twitter.

Kelly CarlinMay 29, 2013, 2:09 AM★ Spotlighted

G'night Jordan and Brian. Love you long time.

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 12:49 AM

anyone here?

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 12:51 AM

i think there is some action here

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 12:51 AM

where is JB?

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 12:54 AM★ Spotlighted

Let's start out happy! Imagine yourself in a place where the air is clear, drugs never hurt you, issues are clear cut, a Ford GT40 cost $6500 and sex is free, joyful and frequent - and the worst you could get was crabs. Back to 1967!

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 12:56 AM

hey there Rick!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 12:56 AM

Majorca!

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 12:57 AM

mmm well if no-one is talking,i might as well be off. TTFN!!!

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 12:59 AM

sassy enterance

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 12:59 AM

I give it a 75 - you can dance to it but the lyrics are weak.

Blake IanMay 30, 2013, 1:00 AM★ Spotlighted

http://scenteddemented.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/charles.jpg

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:00 AM★ Spotlighted

I've stayed by the computer for 24 hours in anticipation.

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:01 AM

i read the bible twice

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:02 AM

Both Old and New?

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:03 AM

Spelling, Jordan!

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:03 AM

i did the cliff notes of the old but read all the twice of new

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:03 AM

I like the begats in the old.

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:05 AM

What kind of animals? Ungulates?

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:06 AM

Those are Jordan Rules.

Blake IanMay 30, 2013, 1:09 AM

http://www.virtualcointoss.com

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:09 AM★ Spotlighted

Ted Bundy.

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:10 AM★ Spotlighted

e) drag queens

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:10 AM

Rachael WorkmanMay 30, 2013, 1:10 AM

faculty of harvard

Rachael WorkmanMay 30, 2013, 1:11 AM★ Spotlighted

http://gawker.com/5057427/william-f-buckley-asshole-even-in-death

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:11 AM★ Spotlighted

ixnay on the dicksnay stuff

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:12 AM

Or not.

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:13 AM★ Spotlighted

Jordan, you pervert!

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:14 AM★ Spotlighted

a clown

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:15 AM

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:17 AM★ Spotlighted

That's it,Brian, lower the tone of the discourse!

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:17 AM★ Spotlighted

attack of the sharting clowns

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:18 AM★ Spotlighted

Again with the dick!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:19 AM

Then include other anatomical references, if you dare!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:20 AM

Anus has a certain panache.

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:21 AM

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:23 AM★ Spotlighted

Hea's not Shia.

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:24 AM

Watch it!

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:26 AM★ Spotlighted

"what's a life?" "something we can't afford"

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:27 AM

Leave it to John.

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:28 AM

Is nothing sacred?

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:29 AM

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:30 AM★ Spotlighted

the cpr kit is located behind the monitor

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:30 AM

wow i see i havent missed much

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:31 AM

Welcome home.

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:31 AM

thanks Rick

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:32 AM★ Spotlighted

I warned you about the dick jokes

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:33 AM

i SO wish i could answer that Jordan but i really darent

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:34 AM

rick,you have to have one first to make them

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:34 AM

make them what?

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:34 AM

inot a hot dog

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:34 AM

*into...dam my spelling

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:35 AM★ Spotlighted

kidnapped children

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:35 AM

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:35 AM★ Spotlighted

facebook groups

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:37 AM★ Spotlighted

Just remember Jordan: "Yes, my love" is the key

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:37 AM★ Spotlighted

no Rick,its Yes Dear...get it right!

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:39 AM

marriage IS a buisness

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:40 AM★ Spotlighted

marriage is built on sex, silly rabbit

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:41 AM

rabbits have their place in marriage

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:41 AM

It may be the correct quote - doesn't mean it's right!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:42 AM

Only with one's spouse, Jordan. (wink)

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:43 AM★ Spotlighted

weiners,butt size

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:43 AM★ Spotlighted

free time over company

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:43 AM

heavy breathing // choking

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:44 AM

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:44 AM

i wanna go for what Jordan put please.....

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:45 AM

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:48 AM★ Spotlighted

so i gotta choose spngebob over someone who makes me laugh?

Blake IanMay 30, 2013, 1:48 AM

Depends on what you want out of a friendship!

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:49 AM

i want someone who can make me laugh,fun to be with

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:49 AM

Jordan, Jordan - go, go, go!

rick mccanMay 30, 2013, 1:49 AM★ Spotlighted

bondage

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:50 AM★ Spotlighted

dim sum

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:51 AM★ Spotlighted

BEER!!!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:52 AM

d, particularly reality tv.

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:52 AM★ Spotlighted

that'll be the curry from last night,jordan

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:55 AM

awww JB got a whammie!!!! lucky begger

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:55 AM

Buddha you is mistaken!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:56 AM

you is mistooken

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:56 AM

i'm with ya to the bitter end JB!!! *

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:56 AM

hearts and minds

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:56 AM

sheds,toilets

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 1:57 AM

I read a book now and again.

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:57 AM

well looks like we have ourselves a reader

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 1:58 AM

i wish he'd stop using such big words

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:00 AM★ Spotlighted

only we i'm pissed and i see double

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:00 AM

*when

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 2:00 AM

I'm wrong, but right.

Rachael WorkmanMay 30, 2013, 2:02 AM

c. brian you're a generous fella

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:02 AM

um......let me think

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:03 AM★ Spotlighted

go for Amnesty

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:04 AM

george bush senior

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:05 AM

syphilis?

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:06 AM

there should be way more female comics

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:08 AM

i do that,then i go to the DIY store to get the filler for my face....

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 2:09 AM★ Spotlighted

Burnsey

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:10 AM

i'm going for A

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 2:11 AM

Drat!

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:11 AM

yes dad i will

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 2:12 AM

Another great Tawk! I'd invest, if my Juno options hadn't tanked.

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:12 AM

make it $50 each to Amnesty,you two. be sports :-)

Rachael WorkmanMay 30, 2013, 2:13 AM

nice work boyssss

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:14 AM

loved it!!! thank you X infinity.

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:16 AM

you tease Jordan!

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 2:16 AM

more perversion

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:17 AM

as laways Rick

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:17 AM

dam it i cant flippin spell lol

Rick RosnerMay 30, 2013, 2:17 AM

Till next time, DB

Lucy DyerMay 30, 2013, 2:18 AM

yup see ya soon Ricky boy!