JF

Wine Snobbery for Dummies, Part I

Jan 23, 2014

MW
Stage· 170 messages
Jan 23, 2014

Wine not? Join self-proclaimed professional winos, Jenn Finnell and Molly Wolfgram, as they break the art of "Wine Snobbery" down into easy-to-swallow sips. Wine shouldn't be intimidating; it should be enjoyed! And these ladies intend to bring their love of wine to the masses by making the experience accessible on every level, from instilling a greater understanding of wine's many virtues and quirks, to sharing their favorite, affordable varietals. nnHere's to life!

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:00 AM

Greetings, winos!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:00 AM

Ms. Wolfgram, I presume?
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:00 AM

Yes, ma'am! Greetings from the deep south!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:01 AM

Psshhht! The great white north doesn't want to hear it!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:01 AM

Before we begin, I'd just like to make sure that everyone has a glass of something delicious to toast this epic event...
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:01 AM

It's "cold" here so I'm warming myself with a bottle...er...um...I mean, glass of wine.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:02 AM

It's okay, Molly...you're among friends!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:02 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“please send us some warmer weather and some guys with southern accents lol :D”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:02 AM

Rachel - guys with wine. ;)
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:02 AM

Those are the very best kind.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:03 AM

Well, the first thing I think we'd like to address this evening is a little background on Miss Molly and myself. As in, why the heck should you listen to us when it comes to wine expertise? Ohhhh, where to begin???
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:03 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“So is red wine better for cold weather?”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:04 AM

Jordan, I think so, on account of the warm fuzzies inside. :)
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:04 AM

I definitely think it is, but if someone is shoving a glass of white at me, I'm not gonna turn it down.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:05 AM

Miss Molly, why don't you tell us how you know so much about the tasty and seductive beverage we all know as vino?
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:05 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“red wine <3 Jen I think you introduced me to red wine, have I thanked you yet? I should :)”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:05 AM

Rachel, I hope an apology isn't in order. lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:05 AM

Well, the fact that I have consumed A LOT of it makes me something of an expert :)
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:06 AM

But, I've loved it ever since I threw up my first bottle of Boones in 11 grade.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:06 AM

Sorry Mom, I know you're here.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:06 AM

For my part, basic consumption is also a factor in my relative expertise. That and 20+ years in the restaurant biz, plus a super-awesome freelance gig where they actually PAID ME to drink the stuff and write up my opinions!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:07 AM

Lol. Yes, we all, sadly, have our "beginner" stories.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:07 AM

Paid? To drink wine?
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:07 AM

That's like nirvana.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:08 AM

My first experience was sneaking a bottle of homemade dandelion wine from my parent's stash as a kid. Thank goodness I evolved!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:08 AM

Alright, so now you all know that you're in good hands when it comes all things wine.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:08 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Moonshine wine? Moon wine,,”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:08 AM

I've since traveled all over, tasting some very fabulous wines...and still won't pass up a good sale at the local package store on the cheap stuff.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:09 AM

Tex's homemade wine was hallucinogenic.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:09 AM

Good point, Molly. As long as you mention it, everyone should know that's one of our little wino "secrets". good wine doesn't have to be expensive!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:10 AM

But I digress. Since this little group is going to be a weekly event, here's what y'all can expect...
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:10 AM

And sometimes, when your 11 year old has a gaggle of girls over for a sleepover, you have to do quantity over quality and go with the boxed stuff.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:11 AM

Tonight, Miss Molly & I would like to debunk some common Wine Snobbery myths...just get out from under the stigma of it all so we can have ourselves a good ol' time, drinking great wine and chatting with our fellow winos.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:12 AM

In the coming weeks, however, we'll be going more in depth into the many charms and quirks of wine, followed by (drumroll, please) "live" wine tastings with all of you!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:12 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Here here, Jennifer! (On the wine doesn't need to be expensive thing)”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:12 AM

YESSSS! Live wine tastings!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:13 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Does good wine mean it has to have a cork?”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:13 AM

Right, Jordan...it certainly doesn't. One of my favorite things is finding a great, CHEAP bottle of wine and sharing it with the world!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:13 AM

Julie..nope. For me, some days it just needs a funnel.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:14 AM

Julie - not anymore! In fact, as controversial as the new packaging is, it's more environmentally friendly, as well as economical and, in most cases does a better job of preserving the wine.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:14 AM

Love it, Molly!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:14 AM

What do you know about the best grape harvest this year? Is it a good year for any certain type
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:14 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Live wine tastings while we all hang on Tawkers?! GENIUS!!!”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:14 AM

But fewer corks means fewer Pinterest projects :(
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:15 AM

Molly, you mean you like to do craft projects while drinking wine??? lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:15 AM

Not intentionally, but I'll get to that later in the Tawk!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:15 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“I don't like the taste of wine's that don't have a cork.. it's like I can taste the metal of the cap or something..”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:15 AM

Rubber corks, Rachel.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:16 AM

Okay, then...back to the Snobbery thing...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:16 AM

Ms. Wolfgram & I have broken traditional Wine Snobbery down into categories...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:16 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Lol Molly. Around our house is what do we do with all the green wine bottle because they do not recycle them around our house”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:17 AM

@Julie, save them for me! I melt them down & turn them into cheese boards!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:17 AM

Of course you do! Sheesh, you're putting me to shame.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:17 AM

Are you all just dying with anticipation to know what these categories are???
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:18 AM

Sorry, wine makes me ADD.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:18 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Wine makes me SUBTRACT”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:18 AM

@ Jordan...I just DIED.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:18 AM

Very well...since you asked. lol. Let's start with the grouping we like to call "Old Vine Wine Snobbery"
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:18 AM

@Jordan, LOL!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:19 AM

The Old Vines are those snooty people (who probably also drink their tea with their pinky up). you can just see them, can't you?
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:20 AM

Ugh...they're probably also the kind that call you "daaaaahling"
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:21 AM

These are the descendants of Napoleon III, who called for the first-ever wine grading system (of sorts) back in the mid-1800's sometime. Of course, I could've just made that up...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:22 AM

They only drink Euro wine, because they believe everything else is swill...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:22 AM

Fortunately, this breed is mostly extinct. Which brings us to the Nouveau Wine snobs...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Thurston Howell III types”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:23 AM

Lol, Exactly, Jordan!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:23 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“so what's the difference between the grades? sulfates? or just how long it sits.. does wine really taste better the longer it sits?”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:23 AM

Lots of answers to that one Rachel - a Tawk of it's own!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:23 AM

Molly, give us your interpretation of the Nouveau's...
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:24 AM

They are insufferable.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:25 AM

Very chic...or so they think. Did a lot of research...took a class or two. They typically wear turtlenecks...on purpose.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:25 AM

They'd rather show off they're pseudo knowledge that actually enjoy a sip, or present company, for that matter. Like new money...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:26 AM

Molly, I wear turtlenecks on purpose...
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:26 AM

That's because you live in Wisconsin.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:26 AM

It's friggin' cold there.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:27 AM

Now, maybe none of this seems like a big deal. I mean, to each their own, right? Except...
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:28 AM

★ Spotlighted from Samantha Bush

“Kind of like having sex by accident, you trip and fall head first into a turtleneck”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:28 AM

Holy crap, @sam!!!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:28 AM

The insufferable practice of Wine Snobbery - keeping in mind that in most cases these days, it's all based on show, rather than actual appreciation of the beverage - has a tendency to intimidate the average Joe/Jane...Basically depriving us of a
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:28 AM

basic human right.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:29 AM

@Sam, LOL!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:29 AM

★ Spotlighted from Moria Vezina

“stiffed neck people with no sex drive and or little penises”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:30 AM

@Moria, right. You can spot them because they're the ones sniffing their glass of wine all night without any interesting company. lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:30 AM

Well, @Moria...you ARE my sister.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:30 AM

Oh, those types are definitely out to prove something. It's like short-man syndrome for wine drinkers.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:31 AM

Okay, so we despise Old Vine snobs; detest the Nouveaus...but there is one type of wanna-be-wino that's EVEN WORSE!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:31 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“well it does taste better when you swirl it around.. I'm a wine swirler lol”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:31 AM

You can swirl it Rachel. Just put your pinkie down, please. lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:32 AM

★ Spotlighted from Pam Wolfe

“I usually swirl my wine... for the first sip. Is that a bad thing?”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:32 AM

Not at all, Pam. I think it opens up the flavors.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:32 AM

@Molly, yes! They compensate with wine snobbery because they don't have a monster truck.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:33 AM

Swirling is fine, people! We're going to swirl, we're going to sniff, we're going to sip & roll & examine...all that fun stuff is part of the wine experience. We're just not going to do it in that douchey way...lol
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:33 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine." - Spaceballs”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:34 AM

#nowinedoucheallowed
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:34 AM

Okay, ready for the worst of the worst??? Ugh...gives me chills! The FAKER!!!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:35 AM

They're horrible people.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:35 AM

I have a story on this one. Well, a bunch of them, actually, but for some reason I always remember this guy.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:36 AM

It's like, "STOP ALREADY...we know you just read an article in the inflight magazine on your flight from Des Moines to Vegas.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:36 AM

Okay, so he was wearing a turtle neck (obviously!). He was super douchey & obviously trying to impress his rent-a-date with his "extraordinary" wine knowledge. Yet, he couldn't pronounce the wine he was trying to order.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:36 AM

And it mentioned the word "wine"
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:37 AM

Hahahaha, of course!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:37 AM

Called it.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:37 AM

Of course, I politely corrected him...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:37 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jennifer "JD" Arbuckle

“Fakers, we all fake something...lol”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:37 AM

yes, but never, EVER wine!!!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:38 AM

So the Faker is like that one obnoxious person we all know; the one that always has to one-up your story or circumstance, and they're not even believable, yet we endure...
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:38 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Molly, you're pretty hilarious!”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:39 AM

Yes. Yes she is... :)
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:39 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“I'm sure that went over well... douchey people *love* to be corrected lol”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:39 AM

Perhaps a combination would have a balancing effect then, JD? lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:40 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jennifer "JD" Arbuckle

“Have we tawked about sexy wines yet? I would like a suggestion for Valentine's Day...you know?”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:41 AM

Alright, so now that we have determined the basic traits to be aware of, we can successfully identify the various breeds of wine snobs, and avoid them at all costs.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:41 AM

@JD, surely I have plenty of time to find someone worthy of a sexy wine?
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:41 AM

Isn't it freeing to know you can just kick back and enjoy, without all that pretense?
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:41 AM

★ Spotlighted from Pam Wolfe

“Is there a breed of wine snob that we can like?”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:42 AM

Pretense takes sooo much work and I'm intrinsically lazy
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:42 AM

Yes, Pam...US! We're not snobs though...just fun-loving winos trying to learn a little about our favorite beverage & share our newfound knowledge with the world! :)
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:43 AM

We want to know all the ways to really appreciate the wine w/o being a douchebag
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:44 AM

And by eliminating all the pretense (or post tense, Jordan. lol), the art of wine enjoyment is no longer intimidating.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:44 AM

Molly, tell us how wine makes you a better person (this should be good!)
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:45 AM

Oh dear lord.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:45 AM

Without wine, I'd likely be in some type of correctional facility.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:45 AM

But, I don't look good in orange or horizontal stripes...AND I have wine.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:46 AM

So do most wine snobs act that way to hide their insecurities? Or is that they're sophisticated bullies?
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:46 AM

"sophisticated bullies" - well said Sean!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:47 AM

You know, I think it's funny that there's so much snobbery surrounding wine, since wine itself has been around waaaayyyyy longer than we've had imposed etiquette. lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:48 AM

Very true. It's such an affectation.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:49 AM

Like, did the bible guys, with their dirty feet & sandals sit around talking about bouquet and mouth-feel and long, lingering finishes? I wasn't there in person, but I'm guessing they did not. But it was probably still enjoyable!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:50 AM

Another thing is that when you get comfortable enough to experiment, that's when you find the hidden gems!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:50 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jennifer "JD" Arbuckle

“Historically, wine and beer have been a staple in society and an everyman beverage for thousands of years;.”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:50 AM

I don't think the wedding guests talked about the bouquet of the wine Jesus made that used to be WATER.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:50 AM

@Jenn, exactly! And they still should be!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:51 AM

So, real quick - everybody tell us your favorite cheap wine!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:51 AM

Right, Molly - that would have been rude.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:52 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Experimentation.... I usually find a bottle of wine that I like and then buy it over & over again. Guess I will have to explore uncharted waters...”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:52 AM

@Julie, I've found some of my favorites by choosing the cool label. lol
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:52 AM

★ Spotlighted from Tim Allen

“Stratton Lummis Cabernet Sauvignon out of Napa Valley best Cab for under $20 you will ever find.”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Julie Myers

“Oko Pinot Grigio”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:53 AM

@Julie, I can get into that rut too. It's good to take a risk!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jennifer "JD" Arbuckle

“MY wine of choice is because a percentage of their sales are to keep the California beaches clean...Barefoot”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:53 AM

Avalon Cab 2010
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“I found this awesome organic red wine in WI a month or so ago "Releaf" SO GOOD”

MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:53 AM

★ Spotlighted from Pam Wolfe

“I love choosing wine by a cool label!”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:53 AM

@Rachel, I've been wanting to learn more about the local organics. We should go on a wine tour!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:54 AM

@Pam...good for Pinterest projects too!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:54 AM

Grateful Dead blend
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:54 AM

Speaking of Pinterest projects...
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:54 AM

Sometimes, I just can't help myself and THIS happens...http://icomebyithonestly.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/dyi-do-it-yourself-or-with-your-favorite-bottle-of-wine/
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:54 AM

@Sean, I would try that as a matter of principle. lol
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:54 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rachel McDonnell

“Grateful Dead Wine?!? WHERE?”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:55 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jennifer "JD" Arbuckle

“I also like Coppola whites...”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:55 AM

Everybody, please take a moment at the end of the Tawk to follow Molly's link. GREAT story!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:56 AM

And speaking of the end of the Tawk - Before we have to say goodnight, I want to hear from all of you. Listen up cuz we're taking a vote!
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:56 AM

Also why I'm not good at being a real live adult.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:57 AM

This week we just wanted to establish the vibe & get to know you all a bit. Next week (same bat time, same bat channel) we're really going to dive into some wine education.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:58 AM

★ Spotlighted from Rich Hagberg

“Mommy's Time Out......”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:58 AM

We've got a lot of ground to cover, because wine has so many delightful facets. So...where would you all like to start? What would you like next week's topic to be???
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 2:58 AM

@Rich, that's a good way to describe wine...Mommy's Time Out
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:59 AM

Quick!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:59 AM

lol, @Rich, I agree w/ Molly.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 2:59 AM

★ Spotlighted from Jordan Birnbaum

“Should we all get the same wine beforehand?”

JF

Jennifer Finnell · 3:00 AM

@Jordan, that's the plan for a couple week's from now. I think we want to learn the generalities first. :)
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 3:01 AM

Hmmm, let's talk super basics first, eh?
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 3:01 AM

Like what a good pair of legs look like.
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 3:01 AM

Rachel, I like the red v. white debate, and we will couple that with bouquet & palete. Sound good, everybody?
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 3:02 AM

Thank YOU everyone! Tell your friends. Let's make this group a world-wide event!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 3:02 AM

Raise your glasses! Here's to life! :)
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 3:03 AM

*palate* Sheesh.
MW

Molly Wolfgram · 3:03 AM

Yes! Thank you for spending your Wednesday night with us...talking about one of our very favorite hobbies!
JF

Jennifer Finnell · 3:03 AM

Night all! :)